One would think, because I’ve had MS for nearly 15 years, that it wouldn’t keep surprising me. Every time I leave the house, I come home exhausted. I was sharing with my husband yesterday about how I’m sick and tired of being surprised and disappointed by the same old thing. So yesterday, when I came back and finally sat at the kitchen table, he approached me: “Come on Anna. You can’t let this keep surprising you, remember? What’s your go-to verse?” My….verse? “Yeah, for when you start getting disappointed. You don’t have one yet?” So that’s what we did. We spat off verse references that can help me when I’m disappointed that I don’t have any energy. Again. Here is our list that we came up with quickly!:
Philippians 4:13: I can do all this through Him who gives me strength.
Proverbs 3:5-6: Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight.
John 16:33: I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world, you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.
Philippians 4:4: Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!
Jeremiah 29:11: “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
God sees me, and He knows my frustration. Some how, some way, this will all work out for the best. It’s part of His plan. I have no idea why, after sitting outside for an hour, I’m still shocked that I can’t walk well (um, worse than before. I just don’t walk well, period). Why, after getting down on the floor to play with Lydia, I sit and just need to stay there for a bit. (I don’t crawl around so much anymore. I just tell her our Barbies (or unicorns or whatever toy we’re playing with) will drive to the park, and the park will be within my reach. Or some other half-way compromise. She’s awesome for (most of the time) working with me.) She just w! ants to continue playing with Mommy, so she follows my…stipulations? We’re both happy– I get to play with her longer periods of time!
God is my help. He uses my weaknesses for His good. In fact, His power is made PERFECT in weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9). Even my very obvious physical weaknesses. As I continue to internalize this truth and recall the scriptures I had memorized years prior (for this purpose, actually), I will remember that I am strong in Christ.
On September 29, 2017, I was healed of MS. I was able to feel
fine texture with my fingers again. Muscles were firing that hadn’t in more than ten years. Later that week, I had strep throat, and I wasn’t bed-ridden or extra-weak like usual. I could not deny. I praised God for my healing daily. I wrote about that in this blog.
On the night of November 3, 2017, I couldn’t even sleep for the spasms of my muscles. Doug didn’t sleep much, either. I saw the clock every hour that night. I don’t know if I was awake from hour to hour or if I was awake the whole time. Lies had been flooding my head for a few days. I thought about goals I had set for myself that I hadn’t met. Steps I had tried to take, but didn’t actually. Maybe shuffled my foot forward. But I wasn’t even walking toward them. The next morning, I was as weak as I am when a relapse hits me hard. Neither Doug nor I knew what was going on; I had felt fine the evening before. We called in Lindsey, the nanny that wasn’t supposed to be there until later that day, to come in as fast as she could. After Lindsey and Doug helped me into the car, we went to the ER. By God’s grace, there weren’t many others there at 8am on Saturday morning. They checked me out for an infection of any kind. Blood count was fine, urine was healthy, strep test came back negative, chest x-ray looked good, heart was fine. I had totally expected to be admitted. They let me go hours after getting there with the diagnosis of an MS flare-up because I hadn’t been taking my medicine. They didn’t give me steroids or a plan, except, “follow up with your family doc.” I have never been released while I was still so weak.
So why was I a two-person assist again? Doug, who would have been at the library studying all day, stayed home so he’d be there to help when I needed it. Lindsey had to stay later in the day so I wouldn’t be alone. I’m healed, aren’t I? It was a fight. I battled depression a lot of the day. I slept a lot, but when I was awake, I recited scriptures on healing out loud. Over and over. I’d been having trouble staying strong after a matter of hours. I cried out to the Lord that I would keep strength through all of church the next day. Doug posted on a bunch of Facebook groups and contacted family and stuff. “We are declaring for God to rid Anna of MS once and for all and for His help. He has helped every time before, and He will do it again. Faithful is He.” That night, Doug and I knew we needed a miracle. Doug wouldn’t be able to stay home anymore, as his board exam is coming up soon. We have three nannies, but they’re not available to come two at a time.
The next day, I was stronger than the day before. At least I started out that way. I just prayed it would stay. And I went to church, where I received a ton of encouragement and prayer. We stayed in the church even after everyone left, and prayed. We knew we were in the midst of a battle, the enemy attacking us and those we closely interact with. After my afternoon nap, I didn’t need my wheelchair anymore!
I have been carrying around the healing scriptures and reading them. What other explanation is there for my healing this weekend than the marvelous work of God, the Healer, the Lord Almighty? I know I am in a spiritual battle, and I am standing with many brothers and sisters in Christ who are agreeing with me, as I stand with so many of them in their own battles.
If you would, you can stand with me. Pass these scriptures on to some of your own friends when you need a healing yourself. Read them out loud. You could need healing in your relationships, body, mind, or spirit. It is ALWAYS God’s will to heal you. So if you’re waiting for his will…that’s that. It is.
Psalm 107:20 “He sent out his word and healed them; he rescued them from the grave.”
Isaiah 53:5 “But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed.”
Isaiah 58:8 “Then your light will break forth like the dawn, and your healing will quickly appear; then your righteousness will go before you, and the glory of the Lord will be your rear guard.”
Psalm 147:3 “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”
Proverbs 17:22 “A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.”
Jeremiah 30:7 “But I will restore you to health and heal your wounds, declares the Lord, because you are called an outcast, Zion for whom no one cares.”
Jeremiah 33:6 “Nevertheless, I will bring health and healing to it; I will heal my people and will let them enjoy abundant peace and security.”
James 5:14-15 “Is anyone among you sick? Let them call the elders of the church to pray over them and anoint them with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise them up. If they have sinned, they will be forgiven.”
Matthew 4:23, “Jesus went throughout Galilee, teaching in their synagogues, proclaiming the good news of the kingdom, and healing every disease and sickness among the people.”
Matthew 10:1 “Jesus called his twelve disciples to him and gave them authority to drive out impure spirits and to heal every disease and sickness.”
1 Peter 2:24, “’He himself bore our sins’ in his body on the cross, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; ‘by his wounds you have been healed.’”
Let these scriptures, read out loud, be the sword you fight with in your own battle. Pick up that helmet of salvation to guard your thoughts, your breastplate of righteousness to guard your heart, the belt of truth so you do not doubt what you have seen and heard. Tie on the gospel-ready shoes which will give you peace, and don’t forget to pick up that shield of faith, which can block the incoming attacks of the Enemy (Ephesians 6:10-18). We are in a battle, my friend. May God be with you!
Characteristics: Logical, scientific, detailed, reasonable. Enjoys private/group Bible study and use the Bible as a tool to solve problems.
Responsibilities: Helps the body of believers to understand Scripture. Teaches the Scriptures and helps to oversee the studies of those he teachers, with a policy that “not one shall fall through the cracks and be lost” (Dino).
Abilities: Understands Scripture and explains/interprets the truth in an understandable and meaningful way.
Passions: Word of God.
Examples: Jesus Christ, Paul, Barnabas. Who else do you know in this role? Some people from my life in this role include Pastor Rich Holmes, Doug Meyer, Kenny Stanley.
Notice that there is a pastor in my list here. Some pastors are very good at sharing the word and putting it in a way that is relatable and understandable. My husband also falls on this list of people in my life in this role. Before I looked into this ministry, I thought that I was more of a teacher. But I am wrong—I don’t have many of the characteristics listed here. A teacher in this sense does not have to simply be a school teacher or a Sunday school teacher. Dr. Wile E. Coyote (Doug) loves reading the word and spending hours there, discovering what he did not yet know. He loves being in conversation about the word and having other people give insight that he hadn’t thought about before. He has helped me to understand scripture in new ways, and shares what the Lord was teaching him when he was previously reading in the word. Pastor Rich relates the word to real life. We just finished a sermon series on giants, and 1 Samuel 17 was used the whole time to talk about bringing down giants in our lives—giants such as cancer, divorce, financial problems, addiction, etc.
Now that we have touched all five of the ministries, what are you? Which do you most relate with? I ENCOURAGE highly that you dive into whichever gifts you want to know more about on your own, especially the gift you think you have. I also encourage much prayer, asking the Lord what your ministry is, where you can use it, and to perfect it. I do know one thing: There is not simply one place that you can use your gift at. People need them all, all the time! What is your occupation? How can you use your gift there? Above all, seek the Lord for all these things!
Anna E Meyer
Are you a teacher? Do you know a teacher who doesn’t teach as a profession? What ministry of the five (apostle, prophet, evangelist, pastor, and teacher) do you most closely associate with? How do you know?
[Note: as a music major, I am kind of using the lingo. However, I think that you’ll understand this post even if you don’t know the jargon.]
Sometimes I feel dissonance. Real bad. I feel like something is wrong, but I can’t identify it! The dissonance gets worse. The minor chord turns into a seventh. The half diminished turns into a fully diminished chord. I stop. I throw my hands up and cry out to my Jesus. Even if he can’t resolve it fully, he will change the key or at least insert a chord that has more consonance to it. But my problem is that I keep playing around with the minor keys. “It’s my fault this isn’t going as it should!” [dissonance] “I’m not doing enough for the Lord!” [dissonance] “I have failed you, Jesus; I can’t do it!” [dissonance]
Here comes my Savior with the major chords. Ephesians 2:8-9, “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast.” [consonance] Colossians 1:22, “But now he has reconciled you by Christ’s physical body through death to present you holy in his sight, without blemish and free from accusation.” [consonance] 1 Corinthians 10:13, “No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.” [consonance]
This week, I have been learning to fight lies with scripture. I mean, I knew this, but I didn’t KNOW this. It’s a really tough battle to fight, and I feel almost like the losing team is trying to go out with a bang so I won’t forget. All week, the lies have been constantly in my head, but I try to capture each thought and get rid of it. I replace the lies in my head with the truth of scripture. I knew this would work, but I didn’t KNOW it. Philippians 4:13 says, “I can do all this through him who gives me strength.” God is strong and mighty, his words are powerful and effective! This I have been learning this week, and it has been simply amazing to see Christ’s hand so at work in my life. My eyes have also been opened to the work God is doing on my campus. This morning in class, one of my profs mentioned he’s so disorganized because of a family emergency concerning his father’s health. One of the girls in my class asked if she could pray with him. So she did, right there, before class even started. It’s the little things that God’s doing. It’s even the random conversations about church, it’s the random realizations of truth throughout the day. God is just awesome. I may be listening to the Lord of the Rings soundtrack as a background to writing this post right now, but God’s music is surrounding me even when my ears aren’t perceiving.
Smiling among the major V-I chords, Anna 🙂
Have you ever tried combating lies with scripture? Tell me about it!