The Continuing Spiritual Battle, November 2017

On September 29, 2017, I was healed of MS. I was able to feel

IMG_0384.jpg
Veronica ministering to me at the Awake & Arise Conference while everyone else was all worshiping in song.

fine texture with my fingers again. Muscles were firing that hadn’t in more than ten years. Later that week, I had strep throat, and I wasn’t bed-ridden or extra-weak like usual. I could not deny. I praised God for my healing daily. I wrote about that in this blog.

On the night of November 3, 2017, I couldn’t even sleep for the spasms of my muscles. Doug didn’t sleep much, either. I saw the clock every hour that night. I don’t know if I was awake from hour to hour or if I was awake the whole time. Lies had been flooding my head for a few days. I thought about goals I had set for myself that I hadn’t met. Steps I had tried to take, but didn’t actually. Maybe shuffled my foot forward. But I wasn’t even walking toward them. The next morning, I was as weak as I am when a relapse hits me hard. Neither Doug nor I knew what was going on; I had felt fine the evening before. We called in Lindsey, the nanny that wasn’t supposed to be there until later that day, to come in as fast as she could. After Lindsey and Doug helped me into the car, we went to the ER. By God’s grace, there weren’t many others there at 8am on Saturday morning. They checked me out for an infection of any kind. Blood count was fine, urine was healthy, strep test came back negative, chest x-ray looked good, heart was fine. I had totally expected to be admitted. They let me go hours after getting there with the diagnosis of an MS flare-up because I hadn’t been taking my medicine. They didn’t give me steroids or a plan, except, “follow up with your family doc.” I have never been released while I was still so weak.

So why was I a two-person assist again? Doug, who would have been at the library studying all day, stayed home so he’d be there to help when I needed it. Lindsey had to stay later in the day so I wouldn’t be alone. I’m healed, aren’t I? It was a fight. I battled depression a lot of the day. I slept a lot, but when I was awake, I recited scriptures on healing out loud. Over and over. I’d been having trouble staying strong after a matter of hours. I cried out to the Lord that I would keep strength through all of church the next day. Doug posted on a bunch of Facebook groups and contacted family and stuff. “We are declaring for God to rid Anna of MS once and for all and for His help. He has helped every time before, and He will do it again. Faithful is He.” That night, Doug and I knew we needed a miracle. Doug wouldn’t be able to stay home anymore, as his board exam is coming up soon. We have three nannies, but they’re not available to come two at a time.

The next day, I was stronger than the day before. At least I started out that way. I just prayed it would stay. And I went to church, where I received a ton of encouragement and prayer. We stayed in the church even after everyone left, and prayed. We knew we were in the midst of a battle, the enemy attacking us and those we closely interact with. After my afternoon nap, I didn’t need my wheelchair anymore!

I have been carrying around the healing scriptures and reading them. What other explanation is there for my healing this weekend than the marvelous work of God, the Healer, the Lord Almighty? I know I am in a spiritual battle, and I am standing with many brothers and sisters in Christ who are agreeing with me, as I stand with so many of them in their own battles.

If you would, you can stand with me. Pass these scriptures on to some of your own friends when you need a healing yourself. Read them out loud. You could need healing in your relationships, body, mind, or spirit. It is ALWAYS God’s will to heal you. So if you’re waiting for his will…that’s that. It is.

Psalm 107:20 “He sent out his word and healed them; he rescued them from the grave.”

Isaiah 53:5 “But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed.”

Isaiah 58:8 “Then your light will break forth like the dawn, and your healing will quickly appear; then your righteousness will go before you, and the glory of the Lord will be your rear guard.”

Psalm 147:3 “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”

Proverbs 17:22 “A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.”

Jeremiah 30:7 “But I will restore you to health and heal your wounds, declares the Lord, because you are called an outcast, Zion for whom no one cares.”

Jeremiah 33:6 “Nevertheless, I will bring health and healing to it; I will heal my people and will let them enjoy abundant peace and security.”

James 5:14-15 “Is anyone among you sick? Let them call the elders of the church to pray over them and anoint them with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise them up. If they have sinned, they will be forgiven.”

Matthew 4:23, “Jesus went throughout Galilee, teaching in their synagogues, proclaiming the good news of the kingdom, and healing every disease and sickness among the people.”

Matthew 10:1 “Jesus called his twelve disciples to him and gave them authority to drive out impure spirits and to heal every disease and sickness.”

1 Peter 2:24, “’He himself bore our sins’ in his body on the cross, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; ‘by his wounds you have been healed.’”

woman full armor of GodLet these scriptures, read out loud, be the sword you fight with in your own battle. Pick up that helmet of salvation to guard your thoughts, your breastplate of righteousness to guard your heart, the belt of truth so you do not doubt what you have seen and heard. Tie on the gospel-ready shoes which will give you peace, and don’t forget to pick up that shield of faith, which can block the incoming attacks of the Enemy (Ephesians 6:10-18). We are in a battle, my friend. May God be with you!

Warrior in Christ,

Anna

 

 

Advertisements

Being Patient (Be Careful!)

Patience. I hate it. But not when other people are to me—just when I have to wait. I NEVER ask God to teach me patience. Not anymore. Do you know why? Because he’ll give me opportunities to be patient. I caught on to that in college.

Patients. The pretend people that Dr. Wile E. Coyote is talking to in the next room over, as he prepares for his ISA tomorrow. (ISA—I don’t know what it stands for, but it’s basically doing doctor-stuff, like asking the patient questions and checking everything in the correct order for a physical, etc.) I’m good at being a patient.

Patience. Usually things just “come.” Blogs and stories and poems just flow through my fingers. But this weekend? It hasn’t happened like that. Writer’s block? Because now that I’ve published a book, I want to finish everything I’m working on at once and publish them, too! Not happening, sorry. I probably need to wait a few months, anyway.

Patients. Last week, when I had a doctor’s appointment at the end of the day, I did NOT complain that she was way behind. It was my own fault for scheduling an afternoon visit! And besides, I am already prepared to defend my husband if he gets behind once he’s a doctor, and people let me know how happy they are about it. But that will be in….6 more years, at least. After this one. Did YOU know that the “8 years to become a doctor” happen AFTER the undergrad 4? We are in year 6/12. Which sounds way better than year 2/8. Which is another area in which I have to show

Patience. You know, for having so much trouble being patient for short-term stuff, I certainly have to show it for long-term stuff. Oh no! Those prayers I said back in high school and college!? GOD IS STILL TEACHING ME

Patience. Seriously. Be careful what you pray for, people! God is actually listening!

Your More-Patient-than-She-Thinks Writer and Friend,

Anna

Prayer, Overcoming Unseen Doubt

Yesterday, I read a passage on prayer in Luke 11. I had heard it so many times before, and I wanted to gleam something new from it that I hadn’t before. So I got a commentary. Growing up in the church, and being active in the church in college and since, I had heard all of the extra tid-bits about the passage that my NIV commentary talked about. I was, frankly, disappointed. But do you know what I never really realized? God hears my heart, and, apparently, it was asking him for something new. I felt like there was a reason I had read that passage—there always is. Up my prayer life? I admit that I pray “popcorn prayers”—when I think of something or someone, I say a prayer for them. I have been super concerned about my Mary Kay business and its lack of growth.praying hands

A few hours later, God spoke through my husband. “Pray like Charles,” he said, referring to a man in his men’s group study at church. How does Charles pray? “He thanks God for things in advance, and just trusts that it will come to be.” I remember Dr. Wile E. Coyote and I talking about this before, but I hadn’t paid much attention, I guess. “Remember when we lost the ring?” Dr. Coyote asked. Yes, we had lost my wedding ring just shy of 6 months after being married. We had prayed for it almost every day, had torn the house apart, and had friends praying with us. 2 or 3 months after we had replaced it, I found it—I didn’t even know the inside of that bag could come out, but when I took it out, there was the ring. God waited until we weren’t anxious about it anymore to bring it back—and we both thought we’d lost it forever. I’ve been anxious about my work at Sound House and my Mary Kay business. Things weren’t growing fast enough. But I was DOUBTING. By praying for the same thing over and over, I didn’t trust that God would answer my prayer after asking him ONCE, so I felt the need again and again. Last night, I decided to stop doubting. Oh, I’ve always had faith. But faith mixed with doubt…even doubt that we don’t realize is there? Counterproductive.

“God, I’m done doubting,” I prayed last night. “Thank you for my team members, even though I don’t know who they are yet. Thank you for making me Kat’s first offspring director, and for helping me become a red jacket before April.” The conference call that our unit does every week was POWERFUL last night. And I only say that because God had been moving in me, and was reminding me of my initial excitement for doing Mary Kay. I again heard his call for working this business. I am reassured!

What are you doubting God to do in your life?

Be blessed, my friends!

Anna E. Meyer

Letting Go and Letting God

It has been a roller coaster of a week. Two weeks ago, I was presented with an opportunity to be a Mary Kay Independent Beauty consultant. Well, Dr. Wile E. Coyote and I discussed it, and decided that this randomly WAS from the Lord. It was totally random, and I had never dreamed of working with beauty products EVER. I was working 4 hours a week at my other job, and needed to get out of the house and associate with people other than in a music lesson or online. So, I accepted the opportunity and ordered a starter kit. Then came the discussion about inventory. Any inventory I bought upfront would be an investment, as I would sell it. But it was block week, so Dr. Coyote and I decided to both pray about it and discuss the following Saturday (AFTER tests were done). We made a decision, I told my sales director and my senior consultant (aka my awesome friend Kat who presented me with this unexpected opportunity).

Last night, Dr. Coyote and I stopped and looked around at what had been happening. We had both somehow been in a little funk this week. My debit card would not allow the purchase of the inventory we wanted (and I had already called my bank to discuss it a few times, thinking everything was said and done after that). My website was not active and I couldn’t get to it. Why were these things happening? My confidence in this decision was faltering, and I was relying on myself to fix everything.

Duh! The devil was trying to stop me, and I was trying to resist him by myself. What happened to the armor that the Lord had given me? He protects my head, always reminding me who I am—I am his child and was chosen by him for a purpose! I wear the belt of truth, so that no lies can entangle me and I can always be reminded of the truth. I wear the breastplate of righteousness, which protects my heart. The breastplate keeps the devil out of my heart because it is too easily deceived on its own. And Jesus lives there, empowering me! I also carry the shield of faith, which protects me from attacks and helps me through obstacles in my path (have you seen the way that Captain America uses his shield? I imagine using the shield of faith somehow like that). I hold the sword of the spirit—the word of the Lord. In my own experience, I have found that if I do not start off my day by reading the word, the rest of my day is filled with self-pity and I don’t look up—I’m stuck “naval gazing” (looking down at myself—it’s all me me me me me). We have access to the word like never before—I think I have 8 bibles on my shelf in different translations or with commentaries and such. And lastly, the Lord has given us use of this amazing “weapon” called prayer. And when we’re praying, we have an access to God that we wouldn’t have otherwise!

This Mary Kay job is a ministry. I decided that right away. I will be doing so much more than I would without it! I will have access to so many more women, and I will be able to invest in them. Way more than if I was sitting at home on my computer (which is what I am doing right now as I type…). This job is also an opportunity for the Lord to do his thing and grant his blessings to Dr. Coyote and I, that we can bless, as well.

Nobody and nothing will get in the way of this. The Lord set it in front of me and showed me possibilities he could do with it. Most med students have $250K of debt when they become a doctor. What if I’m not okay with that? I can interact with women and help them discover the beauty that so many of the rest of us see. Somebody did that for me, and I want to share this greatness! I don’t WANT to be normal. I WANT to be different. I WANT to let Christ use me and shine through me. I WANT to make a difference in someone’s life. And maybe someday I’ll drive a pink car (as long as Dr. Coyote wouldn’t have to). Then someday when you’ll see me, you will know that the Lord has been up to something in my life. Are you going to let him be up to something in yours?

Anna E Meyer

Prayer Really Is Powerful.

I have started reading this book that I received at one of my wedding showers from my aunt Sheryl. It is a book by Stormie Omartian called “The Power of a Praying Wife,” and I highly recommend it for any Christian wife, no matter her stage in life. Anyway, through it, God has been showing me the kind of wife that he wants me to be. He keeps leading me back to scripture, showing me what all exactly I am called to do to be Dr. Wile E. Coyote’s wife. “How can I be the wife of a med student?” I have been praying for a month now. “Everyone says I need to be his support, but I don’t know how to do it!” Fervently, I have prayed for his help. But, you know, I didn’t really know how he’d answer. OH MY GOODNESS. Ask God for something specifically and expect an answer, and HE WILL GIVE IT! All you have to do is give him the opportunity.

Last night, Dr. Wile E. Coyote and I were invited over for a game night with some other Christian med students and their wives/families. Scott and Tammy, we had met in church on Sunday. And then we also met Andy and Sarah, John and Leslie, as well as the adorable children of John and Leslie (John’s a fourth year) and Scott and Tammy (Scott’s a second year), who were already friends with each other. We were playing this game called “Bang!” and Doug asked, “So, what is the best and worst part of being married to a med student?” That is all he asked, and he told me the next day that he had no idea where that question came from. But, alas, it led to some amazing conversation and advice from the wives of those students! Who did some OMT on The First Year. J According to all the wives, being practiced on for OMT (which I think stands for Osteopathic Manipulative Treatment? Correct me if I’m wrong) is one of the best things about being married to the student of an osteopathic med school. Especially this one! ‘Cuz they push OMT here in Pikeville a lot. And, it is a little known fact that KYCOM is one of the best schools for osteopathy. But boy, are they proud of it in this town! Plus, if you need a chiropractor or have pain in some muscle, there are a bunch of students who need practice, anyway.

God has specifically been answering so many prayers for this big faith step taken by Dr. Coyote and I. I just can’t get over it! I have a job, a great place to live, and FRIENDS. I have a purpose here in this town, and a reason for doing what I’m doing (being a teacher, the wife of a med student, etc). And here’s a prayer that wasn’t even prayed by us—John and Leslie dated long-distance, as well, so they were telling us how hard the first year was for them, because they never went through that “dating normally” stage. Like today, when Pre-Doc Wile E was looking everywhere for the scissors we used yesterday. I can misplace my phone after 45 seconds of being in the house. It’s one of those things that many couples get over while dating. It’s whatever.

Dr. Wile E. Coyote and I have been appreciating all of the prayers that have been coming our way. We are SO blessed to know all of you! We are getting plugged in here and acclimated to the culture that is so not like that of the Upper Midwest. Next week will be a transition week, as Dr. Coyote begins orientation and I do more at Sound House Music. I’ve already been meeting people (okay, one person) who wants their child to take lessons from me!

So blessed.

So thankful.

Praising God for his mercies and grace,

Anna

Letter to Grandma Lois

Dear Grandma Lois,

When I was growing up I didn’t appreciate all you did and the amazing person you were.  I saw you all the time because we lived so close.  The “Memory Bible Verses Box” you had made for us, along with the index cards with the verses was nice, but I cast them aside.  I don’t remember you being very mobile.  Since I can remember, you had to have help doing things.  When I was diagnosed with MS, I was scared because I was the youngest person I knew with MS.  Everyone else was immobile and old.  When you passed away years later (after putting up quite a fight, I might add), I was sad because we’d miss you here, but I rejoiced because for the first time in YEARS, you could cook and dance and do whatever your body had been restricting you from doing here on earth.  You were with Jesus, and that’s a joy in itself.

Now I think back and remember you.  I loved that you made the “Memory Bible Verses Box,” and I wish I had held onto it a bit more tightly.  Family friends talk about how much you inspired them with your always-positive attitude.  You were put in a nursing home early, because Grandpa couldn’t care for you by himself anymore, and that’s okay.  Everywhere you went was brighter, because I don’t think you could help but shine for your God.  Your smile stayed bright, though your eyes showed your thinking slowing down as MS affects so many.  People tell me that I have a positive attitude that inspires them, but I credit my Jesus.  Just as he gave you a positivity that inspired and still inspires people, I have been given the opportunity to shine for him in that way, as well.

Visiting you in the nursing home in Minneota, MN, tugged at my heart as I met other residents you stayed with.  I loved playing music for you and everyone else that happened to be there, as well.  This year, I started dating Doug.  Oh, I wish you could meet him!  You’d love him.  But he’s working in a nursing home this year and has been telling me about it.  I didn’t realize how depressing nursing homes can be, because you were never depressed where I saw you.  And then I heard about this ministry the church I’m attending in Sioux Falls does called the LOOP (loving-on-our-people).  Part of that ministry goes into nursing homes and brings church to them.  As soon as I could, I started helping out there.  Bringing a light into nursing homes?  What a brilliant idea!  Bringing Jesus into nursing homes can do as you once did, and cast out the depressing and hopeless feelings there.  Grandma, I want to continue this ministry even when I move.  I don’t know what all I’ll be doing, but I want to do that.  I have even accepted the fact that someday, I may have to go into a nursing home earlier than most of the old people because of the MS.  Not that I’ve given up and am waiting for that, but for some reason, the nursing home (in general, none specific) is on my heart.

I wish you could see me now, Grandma.  My faith has grown so much.  I’m getting married, and moving kind of far away.  I also wish I could see you now, in your new body where sickness is no more.  But I remember that it won’t be too long until I’ll join you, and we can dance and run and skip together, praising Jesus all day long.

Love,

Your Favorite Olson Granddaughter (I won’t tell),

Anna

Did I just have mud rubbed in my eyes?

It’s crazy how you don’t notice things God is doing sometimes, and then suddenly, it’s like your eyes have been opened and you see him everywhere.  Like how I had a pretty great last week at the elementary school, and I received hugs from students as they were leaving the room as I stood there for the last time with their class.  Today, I drove around a lot, and it rained tons.  But on my last drive home, I saw two different rainbows.  Beautiful.  And those cloud formations were just lovely.  There’s also something about a combine in a field that makes me smile.  And last weekend, I got to go and see Dr. Wile E. Coyote in person (we met halfway in the middle, which happens to be the town he went to college in, so he knows it well), and we went on dates and spent time together and read the word together.  It was great.  Or noticing that South Dakota, where I live, doesn’t have the gas tax that Minnesota has?  (It’s ridiculous.)  Getting to spend time with Youngest Sister and hang out with Sarah and have discipleship with my girls and find such enjoyment playing music!  Music is a whole ‘nother beauty in itself that I could go on and on about.  But I have in the past.  I went out for lunch with the ‘rents, and my mom was joking that she would call Doc WEC’s workplace and ensure that he had November 29th off so he could come for thanksgiving.  Seriously, if anyone knows how to get one off work, let me know.  Thanksgiving is also my birthday.  Just sayin.

Looking around, I see the many blessings that have been in my life.  My family, the opportunity I’ve had to go to school and become a teacher, my friends.  Dr. Wile E. Coyote is a blessing, and we point each other to Jesus so much.  The fact that my family lives so close to me for a time?  The fact that the pre-doc was accepted to med school already?  So many things.  And while I ask for more and expect the LORD to continue to do wondrous things, I can only say thank you and praise him for what he has done so far.  I look back on my life in its entirety and see how far he’s brought me.  I submitted my book proposal last week.  I ask for prayers for that.  And for the future and all that encompasses it.  I trust God with it, and I am super happy that someone is standing next to me, holding my hand and walking and trusting with me the One who holds all things together.

Smiling especially thankfully,

Anna

A Post about Prayer (it’s cool!)

Prayer.  It’s kind of normal to talk about in the Christian-sphere, but it goes a bit beyond our understanding.  We’ve been given the Lord’s prayer, by the Lord himself.  Some churches have prayers pre-written, some people like to come up with words of the top of their head.  Prayer isn’t about impressing God with our words and making sure you word things right so something else doesn’t happen.  There is no right and wrong way to pray.  We won’t change his mind, it’s already made up.  So why should we pray?  Pastor Jim talked about prayer on Sunday morning.  Don’t you think that God likes to hear what we think?  I journal a lot of my prayers and have plenty of talks at God.  He doesn’t mind.  But he tells us to listen, too (harder for me sometimes).  That’s what the Word is for.  What if prayer is for us?  In Genesis 18, God tells Abraham about the outcry against Sodom.  Abraham banters with God (not the joking-kind of banter, but the negotiating-kind of banter).  “Will you sweep away the righteous with the wicked?  If there were fifty righteous people, will you destroy it?”  God tells him that he won’t.  Proceed long bantering until Abraham brings the number down to ten.  Still, God won’t destroy it, he tells Abraham, if there are only ten righteous people with the wicked.  Did Abraham change God’s mind?  Perhaps.  Abraham was satisfied.  He had been heard by God, who took time to talk with him.  And God DID save the righteous in Sodom.  In Luke 11, after Jesus gives the disciples the Lord’s prayer (not on a notebook page so it can be remembered, but just talked and told, ‘cuz people could remember better back then than apparently I do), he compares our asking for something in prayer like a child asking his or her parent for something.  “Even the wicked give their children good gifts,” Jesus tells his listeners.  “Of course your Father in heaven will give so much more to those who ask him!”  I paraphrased a little, but you know what I’m saying, I hope.  The kicker is to ASK.  That’s the active part of the incredible relationship we have with the Creator of Everything.  But, you also have to thank for what you’ve already received.  We all know the person who asks and asks and asks and gets and gets and gets but keeps asking for more.  If we don’t, we can imagine the annoyance.  What if you ask a couple times (‘cuz we’re told to be persistent), and then THANK God what else he’s been doing?  I really love talking about what God’s been doing in someone else’s life.  I think that some people I know purposely skirt around that question because it’s just different.  But what if we all really looked at what God has done for us each day?  What joy we would find!  “Today, I made this mistake, but I didn’t die when I accidentally ran that light.  Thanks, God!”  That was vague.  ‘Cuz I’ve…never…ran…a light.  But seriously.  I try and look at the positives.  Maybe because I’m an optimist.  I went in the ditch and hit a pole in high school, but I didn’t total the car or die and my parents got the car fixed.  Or, I accidentally paid the wrong person August’s rent, but she didn’t do anything to it and I got it back right away to give to the correct roommate I hadn’t met yet.  Whoops.  I make a lot of mistakes, but they could be so much worse.

A few days ago, I was thinking about how blessed I am.  Seriously.  I live in America where we are not physically persecuted for our faith, and my entire family has such an amazing faith and I can talk about it with them.  In the post “God’s Summer School,” I kind of talked about what God has been doing for me this summer.  He really has done just as much for me since I can remember.  His hand has been protecting me.  The other day, I was reading about Hannah in 1 Samuel 1.  God let Hannah reach a point of desperation when she was weeping like crazy and crying out to him.  But then he answered her prayer.  Why did he wait until she reached the point of desperation?  Would she have known the significance of his hearing her prayer if he hadn’t?  We don’t notice little things, this is true.  But what if we looked for the little things?  I encourage you to pray for eyes to see those little things.  It really is transforming, and I don’t even see very much!  But I see more than nothing.

Last week I’m like, “Lord, what did I do to deserve all these blessings from you?”  And as soon as I said it, I’m like “Gah!” because we didn’t do ANYTHING.  The biggest blessing and gift of grace was Christ dying on the cross, that we can have eternal life with HIM.  We certainly didn’t do anything to deserve that.

This is getting to be a long post with a bunch of tangents, but I digress.  Prayer is such a big deal because the Holy Spirit intercedes for us.  How crazy is it that we humans, flesh and bone, can just talk to the God of the Universe whenever?  And he LISTENS?  Not only that, but he promises:

“So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. 10 For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.” Luke 11:9-10

How cool is that!? (smiley face)

Anna

God’s Summer School

This whole summer, I feel like my communications with God are so much clearer than when there was school to worry about.  I feel like many prayers have been answered, and I’ve been able to make decisions faster and I don’t know.  Things are just awesome.  Coming home this summer was a good move (thanks for your persistence, Lord…sorry it took so long for me to listen).  I have been so glad I have had the opportunity to write more and to give music lessons, as well as working on the farm and realizing its value.  I have decided that I will be heading to seminary as a next step, although I still don’t know when or where.  First things first: student teaching.  And then, down the road, after seminary, I don’t know if I’ll teach or what I’ll do with it.  But I have accepted in the last few years that I simply can’t know everything.  That would be God’s job, not mine.  Knowing everything is silly, anyway.  Writing would be fun, as well.  I was talking with my aunt Sally, and she told me that it’s better to have too many things to want to do rather than nothing.  If I wanted to become a professional procrastinator and not do anything ever, that might be a problem.  But God has given me so many gifts and passions.  I am so excited to use them and to see how God’s going to use everything.

God has shown me that I can write and serve others for him.  It’s possible, and I love doing it (I plan to for a super long time).  He has shown me that I can teach music and that I’m not any of my classmates; I’m me, Anna.  I have my own “specialties” that none of them have.  And he has shown me how big he is, and that he totally listens to his children.  Who would have thought one of my closest friends who is also the boy I like would be interested back?

Pause for a tangent: I grew up in a passive-aggressive, don’t-say-what-you-mean-but-imply-it, is-this-person-implying-something-or-saying-something-else, what-the-heck kind of atmosphere.  I’ve been trying to be more direct to those who didn’t grow up here since I began college and didn’t see any like people around.  I’m getting better, I promise.  Sorry to the person I’m vaguely talking about that I say things here and just hope you’ll read it.  To everyone else: I am kind of a chatterbox, so there is actually more communication than I make it sound like.  Resume post.

My cousin, Katrina, took a semester off and lived in Cottonwood with her mom to get everything under control.  God spoke to her a lot, then, as well.  I think that this summer has been awesome.  I’ve learned how to drive a tractor (although I don’t do anything super important with the potential of killing plants, ‘cuz I’m too good at that), I’ve gotten to connect with people here who I’ve known my whole life, and I’ve gotten to do so much more.  Ugh, I’m restating.  Anyway, this post is to basically say that this summer has been great.  I am super excited to see what happens next in this novel I’m living that I don’t get to skip to the end of the page or to the next chapter.  You mean, you don’t do that when you’re reading a stellar novel?  Yeah, it’s not the best idea, cuz you usually miss something important.

I hope the rest of you are having a good summer, as well.  What has God been doing in your lives?

Anna

God’s Way

We are God’s, and he will have his way.

No matter if we’re listening, it’ll pass one day

Even if we make wrong decisions or screw up a bunch,

It’s all in God’s will, he’ll use it, I know this much.

So if you’re deciding something important, the pressure is off.

He will teach you and guide you, so don’t write it off.

When in doubt, take it to the Lord in prayer.

But then, do I really want to go there?

I pray about something, but I’m afraid of God’s answer.

What if it’s no? Is that a tear-enhancer?

Being okay with God’s answers on our own?

We don’t have the strength, not while alone.

“God, have your way, and help me to accept,

Whatever you say, ‘cuz then I’ll be fine, except,

I need you every day, I’m not real good just me.

Convict me of it, and with me always be.”

“Be still,” a voice says in my head.

“The Lord will fight for you, his Word even said.”

“I remember,” I say back to the voice.

I open the Word again and rejoice.

“Be still, and know that I am God.”

I flip the pages with an excited nod.

“Don’t worry about tomorrow, I got this.”

(The paraphrasing reader in my head is dismissed.)

I smile to myself as I close the Bible gently.

Why should I even doubt? He’s totally got me.

Taking things to him and letting him take them,

It’s a real pressure release, ahem?

I know I don’t always listen to what I say,

But I’m happy to know God uses it anyway.

Sometimes I write things to preach it to me.

He uses these and then is like, “See?”

 

Verses referenced: Exodus 14:14, Psalm 46:10, Matthew 6:24