A Psalm of Sorts

Even when I don’t make sense, when I rhyme or the words feel tense, you understand me. When I make up words and sing parallel thirds, when my rhythm is off, you understand me.  When I compare, when I don’t brush my hair, you comfort me.  When I worry about nothing and annoy everyone by thumping, when I fret, you comfort me.  When my heart cries out before I can even open my mouth, when everything has just gone south, you answer me.  When I’m verbally vomiting and mindlessly talking, when I’m not even hearing what I say, still you answer me.  When I’m alone and negative thinking, when I feel like I’m sinking, you rescue me.  When I feel like I’m falling, when my insides are bawling, you rescue me.  When I sit and listen to you, when I am ready to take the next step of what to do, you are with me.  When I go through my day, sometimes not listening to what you’ve got to say, still you’re with me.  When I mess up bad, when I wear polka dots with plaid, you love me.  When I look the other direction, when I rebel and look only to my reflection, you love me.

Quoting Pastor Phill (Ransom Church), our God is irrational.  He is creator and master over all things, he is bigger than anything ever, there are billions of people on this earth, and he loves ME.  He loves YOU.  WHILE WE WERE STILL SINNERS, Christ died for us (Romans 5:8)!  Our God is personal and loves to help us and comfort us and show us how much he cares.  I should be falling apart, but I’m not, because I have God in my life.  I should be dead, but I’m not, because Christ granted me life.  Our irrational God calls us to irrational obedience.  We can radically and irrationally do what we can, but the rest, we are told to hand to God and trust him with it.  My lifegroup this year has started out super small.  But I’ll do what I can to lead, and trust God with the rest; trust God to do great things with those that show up.  I can by God’s grace pour into them, and God will continue growing them into the people he wants them to be.  My physical walking isn’t so good, and it is a struggle at times.  But I’ll do what I can, exercise and stretch, and trust God with the rest.  He supplies me with energy I need throughout the day and the strength to continue walking until I reach my destination when I feel I can’t.  I am a senior in college, and I have absolutely no idea what I’m going to be doing when I leave here.  But I’ll do what I can, I’ll get my degree, and trust God with the rest; trust God to guide me to where he wants me to be.

When I feel like I’m falling, when I don’t hear you but I’m calling, I’ll trust you.  When I don’t know where I’m going, and I feel like a pin knocked down in bowling, I’ll trust you.  When you lead the way, when you wait for me to go or stay, I’ll follow you.  When the path is tough and full of stuff, when it’s rough, still I’ll follow you.  When I lay my head down to sleep, when the path ahead is steep, I’ll praise you.  When I wake up to the day, when I work and when I play, I’ll praise you.

🙂 Anna

2 thoughts on “A Psalm of Sorts

  1. Your vulnerability and realness is very encouraging to me. I have not been spending enough time with the God who is bigger and better than everything that lives inside of me and is always with me lately. I have been putting school over God. This weekend I am going on a men’s retreat with my church and hope to spend some wonderful quality communication with my savior. Thanks Anna.

    Dougie Fresh

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