A little psalm with hymn lines of truth and praises

Written last Monday.  My head and my soul were singing praises to God all weekend long!  I finished it today. 🙂

 

Then sings my soul, my savior, God, to thee: How great thou art!  How great thou art!

It is well with my soul, for your grace is so amazing.

And so comes the praise from the depths of me: How great thou art!

Oh, how sweet is the sound of your wonders and ways!

Your love is awesome—I will sing of it forever!

How great you are, oh Lord my God.

Your very person is worthy of praise.

Therefore, my soul sings, “Holy! Holy! Holy is the Lord God Almighty!”

Your praises sing my soul always.

 

In the mountains or the valleys, I look to you and call your name.

You hear me.  You answer me.

Sometimes I can’t go through things in this life myself,

And so I ask.  And you help me.

Far too little I turn to seek you, but your hand moves even when I’m not looking for it.

You, oh God, are worthy.

Take my life and let it be, consecrated Lord, to thee.

Then sings my soul, my Savior, God, to the: How great thou art!  How GREAT thou art!

 

Jesus, My Saving Grace, as Long as Life Endures

So, I’m a little tentative to put some things on my blog.  However; this is how I cope, and I wanted to share all Jesus’ reassurings he’s been showing me and giving me lately.  It is okay when you struggle with anything.  We live in a broken world, and life wouldn’t be lived well without struggles.  Keep on, keeping on!  Also, pray.  — Anna

 

The flooding waters are black with despair and illness.  Depression cuts through the waves and tries to take down any person it can.  I see my sister sinking.  “Help her, Jesus!  Pick her up!”  And he does.  But she is still in the water.

“You were sinking?” a doc asked my sister.  What if she begins to sink again? he wonders to himself.  And so a life boat is called to retrieve her.  It’s not a real life boat, though.  It’s a fleshful, temporary vessel.  I call upon the life boat that saves and redeems, the true God who cares for each of his children even more than any could imagine.  He can use the temporary vessel and anything he wants to so that his work can be done.  I don’t see my sister.

I am sitting on a life raft, as well.  The MS that inhibits my body tries to pull me down into the waters.  Depression splashes onto my body, too, but the real life boat has pulled me out of the waters before.  I see my sister clinging to the real life raft she had been on before, as all go with the other life boat.

“The waters had come up to my neck, but you saved me, oh God,” I whisper.  “There is no foothold in these miry depths, and one grows weary crying out to you.  But you answered me with your salvation, as you do so often.  Your great love rescues me from the mire and delivers me from the deep, black waters.  Now come near to my sister and rescue her, as well.”  (From Psalm 69)

I had never known what it was like, being the sister of someone with MS, like mine.  I’m the diagnosed person, but I think I understand.  MS affects everyone, as does every illness or disease flesh suffers from.  I helplessly watch her being taken away, and there is nothing I can do as they send me home.  I worry like crazy about her, and I plead with the real life boat’s captain.  “Anna,” he tells me, “I totally got this.  Just trust me.”

I will praise God’s name in song and glorify him with thanksgiving (Ps 69:30).  I worship him.  “Arise, Lord! Lift up your hand, oh God.  Do not forget the helpless (Ps 10:12).  I cry to you, for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you.  Those who know your name trust in you (Ps 9:10).

“The Lord has promised good to me; his Word my hope secures. He will my shield and portion be, as long as life endures” (Amazing Grace, verse 4) He will my raft and sails be, long after found are cures.  As long as life endures.

//

Wee! God is Great!

I feel like I should write a post today.  I dunno, I’m just giddy, I guess.  Does anyone else say “Wee!” when they’re super excited, or is that just me?  So many things have been pretty awesome lately.  Codename “Dr. Wile E. Coyote” and I became Facebook official yesterday.  We met on Summer Project in Milwaukee, like, two years ago.  Not that we’ve spent much time in the same place since then.  Unless you count Skype?  No, I didn’t think so.  But, some of our friends from Project those few years ago weren’t at all surprised.  Is it weird when everyone else catches something, but it takes the actual people a while to figure it out?  Anyway, moving on.  This post is not just about Dr. Wile E.  J  At the beginning of the summer, I prayed for a friend.  Well, it’s the end of the summer, but I totally found one.  She’s going to PT school, and this morning over breakfast told me all about what part of the brain affected what, and she tried things and watched me walk and stuff like a physical therapist does.  She asked me if she could do tests on me, because studying on a live person is way better than flashcards.  So, she’s gonna work on rehab stuff with me, strengthening and walking right again.  I’m pretty excited.  I like hearing about what other people know a lot about and are interested in.  I asked my friend Marissa last year about WWI, and her being a history nerd completely, was super excited that I was actually interested and genuinely wanted to know.  Kind of like Sarah this morning.  She told me to stop her if I didn’t want to hear that stuff, but I was really excited.  She told me where she thought some of my lesions might be and why.  When I was first diagnosed, I didn’t care about these things whatsoever.  A teenager who didn’t care where the heck the lesions were, just that they were there?  I find talk about the complexity of the human body very interesting.  And bam, Dr. Wile E. isn’t a doctor, yet, but he’s applying to med schools, and warned me that I’d hear a lot about what he’s learning when he does start school.  I’m not a science person, but I do find it interesting.  I’m a music and writing-type person.  The fine arts are my specialty.  Everything else?  Well, that’s why we’re all so different.

I’m also super excited, because on Monday, I’m going to be going over my story with Jody, and she’ll be done copy-editing.  Dr. Wile E. says he wants to be done going through it around then, too.  Wee!  My cousins are back from being camp counselors at Christikan (I may have spelled that wrong), and I got to help my aunt Sally set up her first-grade classroom yesterday.  Reading through some psalms just makes me excited about Jesus, too.  He has done so many great things, from Abraham to Moses, and now for us, it’s so amazing.  He is perfect and just and righteous.  David’s psalms of praise reflect the praises of my heart.  I write psalms, too, but not very many are so wonderfully worded.  Just READING the Word instead of writing is like a hug from God, and it’s all I need.  I write as a form of praise to him, also, but no words nor songs nor works can ever thank him enough for all he is and does.  He’s just great.  Wee!

Anna

A Psalm of Worry then Relief

Written 10-9-12, Anna Olson

 

The mistakes of my past weigh heavy on my shoulders.

I try to shrug them off, but they weigh down like boulders.

I try to change the past, but there’s no way I’ll succeed.

I can only change the future which will be better than the past, guaranteed.

I beat myself up over what I coulda, woulda, shoulda done.

But that’s not helping anything, just adding to the weight a ton.

Jesus taps me on the shoulder, but I hardly notice as I struggle.

He clears his throat and randomly announces he knows how to juggle.

I turn to see his face after his announcement so sarcastic.

But my eyes grow wide as he takes a heavy rock from me and tosses it real drastic.

“Can you take more?” I ask, and I follow his gaze to my white-knuckled grip.

“Oh, right,” I say and I try and loosen up as I bite my lip.

I watch the Lord smile as he reaches over to help me.

Then, he takes my burden away completely!

“Anna,” he says as he hands me a gift.

“I’m always right here, waiting!” My perspective begins to shift.

Instead of worrying about my flimsy worries here on earth, I look to Jesus!

Does what I’m doing have eternal worth? Always, always, look to Jesus!

It doesn’t matter what I didn’t do, just what I will.

And since I won’t be doing all that on my own, I can just BE STILL!

A Psalm of Sorts

Even when I don’t make sense, when I rhyme or the words feel tense, you understand me. When I make up words and sing parallel thirds, when my rhythm is off, you understand me.  When I compare, when I don’t brush my hair, you comfort me.  When I worry about nothing and annoy everyone by thumping, when I fret, you comfort me.  When my heart cries out before I can even open my mouth, when everything has just gone south, you answer me.  When I’m verbally vomiting and mindlessly talking, when I’m not even hearing what I say, still you answer me.  When I’m alone and negative thinking, when I feel like I’m sinking, you rescue me.  When I feel like I’m falling, when my insides are bawling, you rescue me.  When I sit and listen to you, when I am ready to take the next step of what to do, you are with me.  When I go through my day, sometimes not listening to what you’ve got to say, still you’re with me.  When I mess up bad, when I wear polka dots with plaid, you love me.  When I look the other direction, when I rebel and look only to my reflection, you love me.

Quoting Pastor Phill (Ransom Church), our God is irrational.  He is creator and master over all things, he is bigger than anything ever, there are billions of people on this earth, and he loves ME.  He loves YOU.  WHILE WE WERE STILL SINNERS, Christ died for us (Romans 5:8)!  Our God is personal and loves to help us and comfort us and show us how much he cares.  I should be falling apart, but I’m not, because I have God in my life.  I should be dead, but I’m not, because Christ granted me life.  Our irrational God calls us to irrational obedience.  We can radically and irrationally do what we can, but the rest, we are told to hand to God and trust him with it.  My lifegroup this year has started out super small.  But I’ll do what I can to lead, and trust God with the rest; trust God to do great things with those that show up.  I can by God’s grace pour into them, and God will continue growing them into the people he wants them to be.  My physical walking isn’t so good, and it is a struggle at times.  But I’ll do what I can, exercise and stretch, and trust God with the rest.  He supplies me with energy I need throughout the day and the strength to continue walking until I reach my destination when I feel I can’t.  I am a senior in college, and I have absolutely no idea what I’m going to be doing when I leave here.  But I’ll do what I can, I’ll get my degree, and trust God with the rest; trust God to guide me to where he wants me to be.

When I feel like I’m falling, when I don’t hear you but I’m calling, I’ll trust you.  When I don’t know where I’m going, and I feel like a pin knocked down in bowling, I’ll trust you.  When you lead the way, when you wait for me to go or stay, I’ll follow you.  When the path is tough and full of stuff, when it’s rough, still I’ll follow you.  When I lay my head down to sleep, when the path ahead is steep, I’ll praise you.  When I wake up to the day, when I work and when I play, I’ll praise you.

🙂 Anna

A Psalm (8)

Written 7-23-12, Anna Olson

 

Lord, you are absolutely beautiful.

You are perfect in all your ways.

God, you are awesome and wonderful.

I will praise you all of my days.

 

Even in the dirt and grime of life you’re there.

While we’re getting through it all can see you.

Others see you through my struggles so I can bear.

We see and know there’s victory in all you do.

 

Even when there’s evil that tries to draw everyone’s gaze,

You emerge like we haven’t seen you before!

Even if for awhile we’re in a funk and lost in the haze,

We WILL see you and admire and adore.

 

Sometimes I have to wait for your plan.

I may grow impatient, but it’s worth it.

I live life today instead of waiting because I can.

You are always teaching me and keeping my candle lit.

 

Lord, I desire for others to know you for real.

My heart breaks when they wander so lost.

I pray that to them all yourself you’ll reveal,

So one day they’ll follow you, no matter the cost.

 

God, you are magnificent and delightful.

You are so worth anything here on earth.

Lord, you are ubiquitous and powerful.

I celebrate that you’ve given us GRACE and new birth!

 

Amen and amen!

A Psalm (4)

David was anointed as king, but it took so long!

He did this and he did that, what was wrong?

David needed to learn a thing or two before the promise fulfilled.

He didn’t realize it at the time, but it was what God willed.

David ran from Saul, who tried to take his life.

But God was David’s stronghold throughout his strife.

Even when he stumbled, he turned to his God.

No one could say David was fraud.

“Search my heart,” he’d cry, “and clean me up!”

God looked upon him who praised and overflowed his cup.

Often, David wrote non-rhyming psalms to the Lord;

He learned trust and delight beyond riches he could afford.

 

I confess, Lord, that I don’t always hear your promise.

I put words in your mouth or question like doubting Thomas.

But I do know that you speak to me as I need to hear it.

When you tell me and I hear, I try and submit.

You never promised you’d heal me of MS while I was here;

But you promised you’d help me out and always be near.

You never promised me I’d find true love, like what I read in books.

But you did tell me to not settle, and you showed me how yours looks.

You never promised it’d be easy, in fact, you told us all it wouldn’t.

But you told us all you’d be there, to help us do what we couldn’t.

 

Lord, grant me patience, for it is your will I wait upon.

In the meantime you supply my need, like a mighty warrior given brawn.

Take my worry, Father; I know you are in control.

You are my strength and the lover of my soul.

You are my hero when I cry out like a damsel in distress;

Every day you make clean everything I make a mess.

Every day is a new adventure when I talk with you;

All the time, you work in me, showing me something new.

 

Father God, you’re everything I’d been looking for;

You are everything I need and so much more!

You give me the words and you’ve given me this passion;

I praise you that I can write for you in such a fashion!

You bring me salvation, life, and light.

You are forever my God, forever my love, and forever my delight.

 

In Jesus’ name I lift all these words to God,

Praising him and giving glory to him who leaves me awed.

 

Anna =)^2

My Abbreve Psalm

Written 3-27-12, Anna Olson

 

My God is strong and mighty to save.

Of all the peeps I talk with, he’s my fav.

My Heavenly Father answers me totes def.

Sometimes it’s a no, but sometimes it’s a yep.

The Spirit gives me patience to wait upon the Lord.

But even while I’m waiting, I’m def not bored!

My Jesus rocks my socks off with all his wondrous deeds.

He even promises in Philippians 4:19 to supply all my needs.

My Redeemer teaches me something new almost every day.

I dive into the Word to hear what he’s telling me today.

Sometimes I don’t hear him, but sometimes I totes do.

‘Cuz everything he tells me, is totes def true.

God’s perf. character is shown throughout scripture.

It’s def totes cool to get a supes awes picture.

My Refuge protects me, when inapprops I’m scared.

My King is the best ev; no one can compare.

My Comforter I run to when something’s totes wrong.

My Advocate I turn to as I rej in song!

My Lord, he def and always understands me.

Even in abbreves, this poem makes him happy.  =)