Grace, Getting Married, and Gearing Up :)

Two weeks. HEY EVERYONE, I’M GETTING MARRIED IN TWO WEEKS! Less than that now. 🙂 I am doing physical therapy (last one will be the Wednesday before), I will get my new AFO brace the Tuesday before, and I just have a lot of feels right now. I went to my cousin Trish’s wedding on Saturday, and I started losing it at her reception. Totally not the place to start crying. I don’t even notice stress anymore, and I push it to the side. But it’s messing with me, and I don’t like it. Oh, no. I’m not stressed about the wedding or anything. I’m actually quite excited for that. Everything is falling into place, and it will be the best day I can’t even imagine. It’s other things. You know, leaving everyone and everything here. Saying good-bye to my roommates last week, when I have no idea when I’ll see them again. Packing when I don’t really have any idea what I’ll be needing for work. Starting a new adventure of many unknowns. Being able to see Dr. Wile E. Coyote more than once a month because of a nine-hour difference, but every DAY because we’ll be married! The inevitable culture shock that moving to Kentucky from the northern Midwest of the South Dakota-Minnesota-Wisconsin region.

I’m also kind of worried that at first, the pre-doc and I will drive each other nuts. In our premarital counseling, we spoke of examples of this: Say I put the spatulas in one drawer, but Doug thinks they should go in a different drawer and we fight about it. We’re not really fighting about where the spatulas go, but grieving the loss of our childhoods. Now, this is only a hypothetical example. This has been bothering me quite a bit lately, as I see some of Dr. WEC’s quirks and view them in a negative light. I even see some of my quirks and worry about how D will perceive them. But there is this ridiculous word that God has been leading me to, and I can’t really give Dr. Wile E. Coyote any grief. This word is GRACE.

This morning at church, we talked about the parable where the landowner goes into the village to get workers for his vineyard more than once in a day. Some workers were hired at noon, 3pm, and 5pm, even, when the rest of the workday started at 6am and finished at 6pm. The end of the day comes, and the landowner pays those who came last to work first, and those who got there in the morning last. And he gave them the exact same pay. There are other parables in the Bible that make us feel good and rejoice. Like the prodigal son, who returns home after some bad choices but is welcomed home and his return celebrated. Woo! The Good Samaritan who helps the injured man on the side of the road. Woo! But the employer who pays all of his workers the exact same thing, whether they worked 12 hours or 1? That goes against a lot of things. But that is the crazy, ridiculous grace that we so often hear about. It doesn’t matter how long we’ve been running the race—someone could have found the race path yesterday and reach the finish line tomorrow. God wants to welcome us all into his kingdom. In the parable, the owner speaks to the grumbling 12 hour workers: “I want to give the one who was hired last the same as I gave you. Don’t I have the right to do what I want with my own money?” (Matthew 20:14b-15a).  Yep, God wants to give us all the same gift of eternal life.  Are you okay with that?

Talking with Dig-Doug this afternoon, he spoke about how on top of things we are. We totally have a plan, and God has been helping us throughout. He added, “We have each other through it all. And even bigger than that, we have the Lord.”

So, in answer to questions I have been hearing: Yes, I am excited to get married. Even though we have a few little things left to do, I am totally ready. Dr. Wile E. Coyote and I will be starting the adventure that will start in this chapter of our lives. The words “I do” will mark a beginning, and I am so excited.

Love to you all!


My Poem/Blog of Thoughts Today

So much is trying to bring me down:

Burn out, allergies, a huge to-do list, etc.

I try to surround myself with what can bring me up:

Jesus, friends, music, etc.

The sun has been hiding for days,

Other students on campus walk like zombies,

And this place reeks of decay.

And I’m worn.



The sun appears.

I hear a Bible verse.

I play for an hour in band and prepare for Lifegroup.

Exhausted, I am.

Will this homework never cease?

The end nears.

I try NOT to push it.

I write.

“Here comes the sun, do dah de dah…”


God is continually at work.  I see random statuses and take part in conversations divinely serendipitous (is that a thing?).  I am used by Him as I myself write and talk.  My mind will never wrap itself around God’s work and his perfect plan and all the good he is.


I know where I’ll be this summer, which is a stress-away, but I am so weary from everything all the time.  So I’ll find my rest in the Lord.  I trust him with everything, anyway.


(So, I’ve been posting a lot of “thoughts” poems and just “thoughts” lately.  It is super therapeutic for me to write, and I appreciate all of you who actually read these!  Be blessed, everyone!)

I’m in a funk, I’m pulled out– God is all-powerful and all-awesome

Have you ever not seen God’s face, even when you’re searching for it?  I feel like I’m blind to him and all his works and goodness.  I went to a Cru conference this weekend—God is ALWAYS experienced like crazy there!  But I didn’t experience him much at all.  A realization, maybe, but not of Him, just me.  I know the Lord; I haven’t stopped diving into his Word every morning to learn more about him!  What is it with this funk?

I’m scared.  That’s it!  I’m freaking about the future when it’s not even here yet.  Not only the test I’m taking in the morning or my lesson in the afternoon, two things in which everything I can do to prepare has been going terribly wrong.  I’m freaked about after school, because I don’t know what I’ll do.  Goodness, I’m freaked about the rest of school, because it involves so much work that I’m not prepared for!  And ever

Isn’t the Bible story in the passage I talk about here, but it’s similar. Why do I worry? I don’t know. He’s got it under control when I don’t!

ything just keeps piling up and going wrong.  This morning, I read Mark 4:35-41.  I feel like I’ve been going through the motions, because how else can I try to get closer to my Lord?  “Jesus!” I finally cry.  “The waves are crashing over the edges of this boat I’m in!  Don’t you care if I drown?”  I can almost feel Jesus getting up and rebuking everything that’s going wrong, “Quiet!  Be still!”  I take a deep breath.  I forget he can do that, sometimes.  Next he turns to me.  “Why are you so afraid?  Where is your faith?”  Hiding, it has been; I feel like I’ve been wrestling with it and trying to justify both sides (the world is so convincing)!  But I’m not scared anymore. “Who is this?  Even the wind and the waves obey him!”  Yes, the wind and the waves, the stress and the strain, everything that goes wrong, and everything that goes right—he’s got it ALL under control.  I don’t have to worry anymore—I’ve got God on my side!  And I get to run to him like a child running to her father.  I get to lift my arms for him to pick me up and hold me even though I’m 5’6”.  “Peace be with you,” he tells me.  Because he loves me.

Anna 🙂