Depression, MS, and Wit in a Poem

It tiptoes into peripheral sight,
And stays to take away the light.  
The darkness makes its home there;
Until you realize you were unaware.  

But I didn’t notice this until
I found myself climbing up the hill!
The flat and happy ground was green,
But this hill is dry and brown and mean.

Depression sneaks up to the unsuspecting;
It makes one think they are the one rejecting.  

It causes feelings that don’t belong,
It places monotone where there once was song.
This hemeola of emotions, this fighting of sorts
Leads to modulation that’s unwelcome, of course!

One day I’ll be down, and the next snap out of it.
It’s like this other unpredictable disease a bit.  
Depression is a symptom of MS, as well.  
Which is just my luck– but I won’t dwell!  

If it gets bad enough I’ll go see my doc.
But coming out myself wouldn’t be a shock.
Just like everything else I’ve been given,
I’m too busy to notice it–I’m livin’!  

So before you go and hand me your pity,
Allow me to give you an answer that’s wity:
I may not be from Mississippi, have a master’s degree or be a medical specialist,
But I AM Mega Smart, Mighty Sarcastic, and Marvelously Sweet.  
Just ask my sister mom husband. (We still qualify as “newlyweds.”) 

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God’s Awesome Plan is ALWAYS Better Than Mine

It all started when a prof of mine asked if I was giving lessons this summer and added “(HINT)” at the end of the question in an email.  I thought I was going to be staying in Sioux Falls all summer, so I went right to work, contacting the right people to reserve space and get everything lined up at my school.  And then, I didn’t get any of the jobs I applied for in Sioux Falls, so I made the decision to be home for the summer.  I had already been in the works for arranging lessons in Sioux Falls, so I decided that I’d just commute.  It’s only a two hour drive.  Knowing I’d be home over the summer, I called the local music store near there and talked to the owner about giving lessons.  He said he wanted to meet me before recommending me to anyone, but that I could teach percussion and brass, as there was already a woodwind instructor there (himself).  “If there are lessons to give, you can give them.”  Well, that didn’t sound very promising, so I stuck with my decision to be in Sioux Falls, as well.  And then.  I don’t know many facts, but apparently an area middle school band director just left, so a few of his students were wanting summer lessons, so they called the local music store.  So far, I have one student in Sioux Falls and four at home.  I am alternating weeks there and here, choosing Tuesdays to be my lesson day.  Percussion is my main instrument, so I am doing that in Sioux Falls, but I am doing both percussion and brass at home.  I did take trumpet lessons last semester and I understand how all the others work (I’ve played them all, just not recently).  I am student teaching next semester, after all, and teaching all the instruments in lessons in the school.  And, I’m only teaching one non-middle schooler.  Have I mentioned that I want to teach beginners and middle school?  The one non-middle schooler is an adult who wants to refresh her skill and just get playing again.  I don’t know what that will be like, and I’m kind of nervous for that one, but seriously, things are just going perfectly.

When I look back on this last spring (was it spring?  It was like, winter, summer, bleh), I am kind of amazed.  I fought so hard to stay in Sioux Falls, but God’s way is always best.  Obviously, he didn’t want me there.  I even turned down a part-time job there because I felt that I was supposed to—first, because I thought I was going to get this last full-time job, but now, I realize, because I was supposed to be here.  God blows my mind all the time, and this situation is no different.  So much good has been happening here at home, and I’ve only been here for, like, two weeks.  As my last post talked about, I get to help out with this century farm party.  I’ve actually been helping out on the farm, and I’m really loving it.  My sister, Laura, was always helping dad out before, so there was little for me to do.  I know she’s sad that she’s not helping out on the farm this year, but I honestly don’t think I would get to do what I’ve been doing if she were here.  She is stretching out her independence, and I know that she is learning a lot about herself and just what it is to be independent in Sioux Falls where she is working this summer.  Laura, if you’re reading this, I love you a ton, and I am in no way trying to be mean.  I’m just in awe about God’s work.  My appreciation of this farm has grown as I’ve been learning about its history, and being able to help out in the ways I have been has certainly enriched this appreciation, as well.  My dad, and all the farmers in this family before him, is just awesome.  Seriously.  My sister Christina is working out near Rapid City this summer, so this is the longest time it’s been just me and the ‘rents since before Christina was born (really? that’s kind of crazy!).  I am keeping probably too busy, this being summer and all, but I love every moment of it! (God continually leaves me full of awe, which isn’t “awe-ful,” but only some.)

I hope all of you are having a great start to your summers, as well!

Anna