Miscommunication

Miscommunication.  I have been learning a TON about this in many different areas in my life.  It’s just better to get rid of it.  Ask for prayer when you need prayer, and share the reasons/circumstances if necessary.  Ask for help (something God’s been teaching me lots since 2011, I think.)  Don’t just talk louder than the other person when you don’t like what they are saying.  Tell them you don’t like all that negativity or (insert whatever here), and why.

The miscommunication between my mind and my body is super-duper annoying.  Sometimes, I feel that if my body could keep up with my brain, I’d have to be a super-energetic child with no “off” switch. Other times, my body feels like it’s an old lady that should be in a nursing home but is really too stubborn for her own good. When my body keeps up with my brain, it can last like, and hour, tops. The miscommunication is not only the maturity or energy of either body or brain.  (I’m told that I have a “childlike” spirit….and yet, an “old soul.”  Figure that out.)  My body doesn’t tell my brain that it’s getting tired until after the fact.  I did physical therapy for, like, a month or two—twice a week!  It was awesome.  Until we realized that the PT was doing more harm than good.  I AM getting stronger, but I’m having a harder time than EVER with the body/brain communication thing.  Like last Monday.  The air wasn’t on in our house, and when I got up to walk around and do things, I was real weak.  Well, looking at the thermostat, it said 78 degrees.  In the HOUSE!  (Heat is an energy-sucker, too.)  So I turned the air on, and chillaxed for a while until I felt I had enough energy to do more chores.  Bleh.

I have also been working on the miscommunication that comes with two very different people being married and living together.  I don’t always tell Doug when I need help, or would like him to do something FOR me.  I would wear myself out until he notices.  (But, I AM getting better at telling him when I shouldn’t be doing things—it’s that bodily communication verbalizing and the whole pride thing of asking for help that I’ve been learning since I started this blog.)  And now, when Doug notices something needs to be cleaned or laundry needs to be done, he tells me instead of leaving the laundry room door open or setting out the broom (that I would put away because I thought he left it out after using it).  See?  We’re getting better at that.  We’re also getting better at telling each other our expectations of events or the rest of the day.  Communication is really cool.  I think what has also helped Doug and I be overcoming this stuff so quick is that we were long distance until we got married.  And I’m still not afraid to tell him my thoughts.

Doug and I have both (separately) been doing this Bible study through the YouVersion Bible App called “Lord, Hear Our Cry.”  It is all about prayer.  I have been realizing that there’s a lot of miscommunication on my part when it comes to prayer.  It’s okay to ask for things, but don’t get discouraged! Sometimes, when there is no answer, I assume it’s a “no.” Sometimes, that “no” may just be a “not now.” So don’t lose hope when God doesn’t answer us right away! It’s not miscommunication, really. It’s not that we’re not communicating. Maybe it’s because we’re not listening (receiving communication). Or the answer doesn’t come as soon as we want it to. That is our fault. God hasn’t answered me about healing me of MS. Maybe he won’t ever heal me or any of my family members who have also been diagnosed with this icky disease. But it doesn’t mean I’ll stop asking. This is one area that I feel like I know the least about. Why am I writing about it? Probably because God wants to tell me or one of you readers something.

Then Jesus told his disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up. ² He said: “In a certain town there was a judge who neither feared God nor cared what people thought. ³ And there was a widow in that town who kept coming to him with the plea, ‘Grant me justice against my adversary.’ ⁴ “For some time he refused. But finally he said to himself, ‘Even though I don’t fear God or care what people think, ⁵ yet because this widow keeps bothering me, I will see that she gets justice, so that she won’t eventually come and attack me!’” ⁶ And the Lord said, “Listen to what the unjust judge says. ⁷ And will not God bring about justice for his chosen ones, who cry out to him day and night? Will he keep putting them off? ⁸ I tell you, he will see that they get justice, and quickly. However, when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on the earth?” (Luke 18:1-8, emphasis mine)

Now. Going back to previous topics in this post, don’t be a nagging spouse. But maybe if you tell your spouse something a few times, it’s okay. I feel like my body has been trying to learn the same lesson f-o-r-e-v-e-r. But persistence isn’t bad. Okay, like many of my posts, I have plunged into a topic and have since left it behind. Maybe it’s been too long since I’ve blogged. Maybe I’m having more miscommunication troubles with the world than I even thought. But, maybe not.

Be blessed, everyone!

Anna E. Meyer

Where in your life do you see miscommunication? What can you do about it?

Poem: Marriage is Sandpaper

Today marks the day that I have been married two months.  Two months is such a short little time, but I wanted to share that Dr. Wile E. Coyote and I have already been growing tons.  We are two individual people, with two personalities, two sets of habits and ways to do things.  But marriage is sandpaper.  That, I’ve already experienced.  The sanding and refining has just been started, and I know that there is a journey ahead of us, as there is in any marriage.  But I rejoice because this sanding has been bringing us closer to Jesus– and I think that may be what’s supposed to happen.  Enjoy the poem.

 

Anna

 

“As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” Proverbs 27:17

 

I have been married so short a time,

But one thing I found right away:

Marriage is sandpaper.

 

 

Marriage is sandpaper.

It has a way of showing you sin,

Sin that has been hidden in your life

Longer than you realized.

 

Marriage is sandpaper.

It will show you the faults of your spouse

But be slow to judge—

Get that plank out of your own eye first.

 

Marriage is sandpaper.

It refines you to look more like Jesus.

Something that all Christians

Should strive for.

 

Marriage is sandpaper.

It prepares a project

For its finishing touches—

The marriage feast of the Lamb.

 

And if marriage is sandpaper,

What a perfect bridegroom Christ is,

Even before marriage to you.

Because he loves you.

 

Marriage is sandpaper.

But if it were not,

There’d be no way two individuals

Could make it work.

 

I am so glad

Marriage is sandpaper.

While it can grate harshly at times,

You and your spouse will shine.

 

Let your light shine in your marriage,

In your church,

And in the world.

Because marriage is sandpaper.

 

“Let us rejoice and be glad and give him glory! For the wedding of the Lamb has come, and his bride has made herself ready.” Revelation 19:7

 

In what ways has marriage been like sandpaper in your life?  How have you grown with your spouse over time? 

It’s a Love Story: Intro to a New Series

I am going to start a series on this blog of my love story with Dr. Wile E. Coyote. Even though I’ve only started talking about him in the last year (and now we’re married!), we have known each other since 2011. Some of our friends and family hadn’t even realized we’d known each other that long. Anyway, this series, entitled “It’s a Love Story,” will tell you a little more about us. A friend of mine wrote her and her husband’s love story on her blog, and it motivated me. Besides, if I don’t write it down now, how will I remember it later? And now, just for funzies, here are some pics from our wedding! 

 

This is one of my favorite shots of us. And our photographer was AWESOME! [visit tonymillerphotography.com to see more of his stuff]

Our wedding party! Photo credit, again, to tonymillerphotography.com!

Everyone in the wedding party wore converse! It was fun!

The Olson Family!

The Meyer Family!

 

It was a wonderful day.  I just wanted to share some pics here for family– friends and family, all of you!  Go check out the rest of our wedding pictures that we uploaded to Facebook!  (There are like 400 of them, but it takes you through the entire day.)  Also, anybody in SW Minnesota, be sure to check out Tony Miller Photography! 

 

Stay tuned for the series, as I’ll try to upload a new one every week! 

Things in Lists

Things I Find Easy:
– Being happy when Dr. Wile E. Coyote comes home for lunch and seeing him when we’re both at home in the evening (which, such as last night, was 9pm. Other times I’m home.  Other times I’m at work and it’s like 6 or 7).
– Writing Christian-based stories, poems, and blogs (and, if you’ve been following my blog here for awhile, may have seen a few stories and poems here and there, also! Feel free to check out the archives).
– Sleeping in our super-duper comfy bed (thanks, Papa Meyer!).

Things I Find Difficult:
– Remembering that my husband loves cell biology and is also a neat freak because of it (thus, the farm girl in me who doesn’t mind dirt and fat in meats gets only a tad annoyed).
– Researching agents who represent christian authors (and trying to figure out how to go about this whole “publishing” thing).
– Being a morning person after much disrupted sleep (because the whole symptom thing kind of stinks).

Things I Find Often:
– That I like to pray for my husband because God is super faithful.
– That I  looooove to write (and make lists, apparently) — I can’t stop, even if I tried.
– That I notice the MS, especially when I forget about a few of the exercises.

Things I Find Sometimes:
– A crabby husband (but don’t worry, he’s usually good at letting me in on why he’s stressed and a little….uncooperative?  Then I can help).
– An empty notebook (you know, the college-ruled kind that is on sale right now for back to school stuff.  *cough*).
– Stretching works!

Things I Find More Often Than I Thought I Would:
– An Anna hug when needed eases some stress and brings comfort; a Doug hug when needed is a release of tension and anxiety and no-more-words-just-ahhh.
– More than one book on our bookshelf by one author.
– Stretching works.

Things I Plan on Finding:
– Date night every week (smiley face).
– A whole lot of students that I can teach something at my music lesson job!
– A helpful exercise routine that my PTs keep telling me about..

Things I Hope to Find:
– Osteopathic Manipulative Treatment is amazing!
– An agent who is interested in selling my book!?
– What? Not even strangers notice the MS?

 

Other Things to Update You With:

– Dr. Wile E. Coyote is adapting to this med-student thing, and by next year, he’ll have it down.

– Work for me at Sound House Music has picked up a bit (and we expect it to pick up more with school starting and word getting out that I can teach all percussion, brass, woodwind, and piano).

– I have an infusion scheduled for Friday because THE ORDERS FOR MY MEDS CAME IN (after three weeks to a month of this hassle, mind you, but it did come!).

 

Sign-Offs:

– Peace out.

– Love you all!

– I like lists.

Anna

God is SO Stinkin’ Faithful

He knows me too well. I mean, I married the man, but I didn’t know how quick he’d notice things. Then again, Dr. Wile E. Coyote (my HUSBAND for almost three weeks now!) is very observant. Only when he wants to be observant, I guess. Considerate. That’s a good word. So, we’re almost done unpacking. He even grouped what’s left to go through: my stuff in a corner, his stuff is pretty much gone through, these over there, those over here, etc. So I knew that he’d be going to a men’s bible study on Thursday night. I came up with all these ideas in my head: D is going to be so happily surprised! ‘Cuz we’re newlyweds, and we like surprising each other. I’ve even been cooking! Before Dr. Coyote walked out the door, however, he told me: “As soon as you’re done hanging this up, I want you to sit down. I cleared a spot for you in the office, with a computer and your chair. I don’t want you unpacking your stuff or doing dishes or anything. Just sit down and rest.” UGH! How did he KNOW that I was going to do that? He continued: “I notice you’re having trouble today, and I think it’s because you’ve been on your feet and doing things for most of the day. So just go in and WRITE.” Okay. So, it took my mother a while to see when things are happening. But that’s because when I was diagnosed, we all were learning about this MS. But seriously. It hasn’t even been three weeks, and my husband notices when I’m having troubles with this symptom or that?

Then it kind of just came to me. I’m ALWAYS on the go. At least until I crash and am way too tired to do anything. I guess when I met this awesome man who wanted to marry me, MS and all, I didn’t know how much of a help he’d be. In the guest blog post he wrote, “Dating Someone with MS,” he mentioned that sometimes God may use him. HE HAS. Goodness. The other day, we were reading some of my old journals where I kind of gushed about The Med Student, and then in the journals, I’d pray for the guy I was crushing on, because I wanted the best for him. And I still do. There actually came a point (this was in the two years of not knowing how he felt), where I prayed that he’d meet someone he needed; someone that would be good for him, who loved him as he deserved. Little did I know at the time that it would be me. Anyway, looking at those prayers I wrote out for D in my journals, I can see now how they have been answered. And I’ve been surrendering the MS to God and asking for help. So what does God do? Decide that I should get married to the man who will notice my left foot slapping or my knee not bending or extra trips to the bathroom because of bladder issues. Dang it, God! You are SO faithful! And sovereign and perfect and the most creative author of life EVER! Seriously.

Today, I read Proverbs 13. Verse 12 reads, “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.” And then verse 19, “A longing fulfilled is sweet to the soul, but fools detest turning from evil.” A longing fulfilled? I thought of D’s and my story. And God’s just been so FAITHFUL and ENCOURAGING. I see “a longing fulfilled” as “a prayer answered.” It is the presence of God, when prayers are being said from across the nation for a person or throughout the world for an issue. When prayers are being said as I’m writing them in my journal, God is there. Sometimes he tells me “not now,” even though I can’t always hear that very clearly. (It took Dr. Wile E. Coyote to tell me that he was interested in me to realize that God had been saying “not now” to a few of my earlier prayers.) Sometimes he tells me “no,” by circumstances or a changing of my still-stubborn mind. But in the last…year, especially, he has been answering “yes” so much. At last. Things are falling into place. I have a job lined up (and apparently it’s pretty hard to find a job here…unless God orchestrates the perfect job for you and you didn’t realize it until you met with your future boss and he tells you what’s up…), Dr. Coyote and I have a beautiful place to live (with AWESOME landlords), four parents who know that D and I are starting out paying for med school and are so very helpful (I love you, all our parents!), D is connecting with med students the month before school starts, and we found a church home and have been making friends through it since the very first day we were in Pikeville, Kentucky. It makes me sigh in contentment. See? Even though I may have been…irritated when I started writing, it only took seeing God and all he’s been doing to let me relax.

I am kind of scared about when The Student starts med school. I have been told that my support will be huge, but how? I have never been the wife of a med student before. I have a job lined up, but there are so many dang unknowns. There are so many unknowns when it comes to Dr. Coyote, as well. He has never been a med student before. He doesn’t know what it’ll be like! But in the meantime, we are enjoying our time together. We are making this place our home, and getting to know the community. With my name change, I’ll be getting a Kentucky ID, for goodness sake! But I KNOW, that no matter what, God’s presence is with me. He is my longing fulfilled. And I trust him with the unknowns. I trust him to be a good wife, and a favorite music teacher. I trust him to be a published author. I TRUST.

How are we doing, you ask? Well. What is the best part about being married? Not being nine hours away and seeing my honey every day. How are our thank yous coming? ….you’ll get them. Don’t worry! 😉

 

Keepin’ it real,

Anna E. Meyer

I’M MARRIED! And God is good :)

Colossians 2:9-10, “For in Christ all the fullness of the Deity lives in bodily form, and in Christ you have been brought to fullness. He is the head over every power and authority.” Basically, this is saying that Christ completes us. Not a soulmate or lover. Christ. In Genesis 2:18, God says, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” And then woman was formed.

Photo credit: Byron Bredlow

Here I was, all ready to gush about my recent wedding and the awesomeness that it is being Mrs….Wile E. Coyote (AKA Meyer). And then the Lord just kind of tapped me on the shoulder. Christ completes me. D and I do help each other and kind of fill in gaps, but we are not the fullness of the other. I knew this, and I just want to make it clear. (Now that I found where it is stated super clearly in scripture!) D and I are our own, independent people. We have individual relationships with God and with our own friends. We are two totally different people. What a miracle it is that God can take two very different people and make them ONE! “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24). When someone gets married, relationship priorities shift. Parents don’t help make big, important decisions. The spouse does. Parents may give advice, especially when sought out, but the number one person in a married person’s life is their spouse.

Dr. Wile E. Coyote and I have been praying since we started dating that our relationship would be glorifying to God. He has been hearing our prayers. This I know because of a few things: the doc (student) and I started dating in August. We were engaged on New Year’s. Married on June 28. Everything in our relationship has just landed in place. It’s incredible. Our wedding was focused 100% on God, and all our guests could see it. We didn’t have alcohol at our reception, but it was a PARTY! That fact really spoke to the place where our reception was and the people helping us out there. Those who we’ve shared our story with have been encouraged, and those who have been watching our story unfold have seen it, too.

So here we are, living in Pikeville, Kentucky. The Lord has been hearing our prayers for this place, too. Awesome landlords, we fell in love with a church the first full day we were here (Sunday), and we’ve been invited out to supper sometime this week by a couple that has lived here for a while (from Minnesota!?). Anyway, we honeymooned out here with minimals and some wedding presents. Dr. Wile E. Coyote’s parents will be out here next week with a U-Haul and the rest of our stuff. So, it’s been a challenge filled with late-night Wal-Mart runs when we realized how smart we were and forgot a blanket for the bed, a pillow for me, and laundry detergent? Ha.

I’ve only been married for like, a week, but already I have been hearing prayers answered there too. I have been praying that God loves my husband through me. I have been given this patience I didn’t know I possessed when I really just want to yell. I have been showing grace, when other parts of me fight it. Ya’ll who aren’t married yet? Patience and grace are huge things you notice real fast.

I felt like I needed to update you, my readers, on my life. I can’t even really talk about being married yet because it has been 10 days. That’s it. But those 10 days have been awesome and filled with road trips, no schedule, and a plethora adventures—exploring new cities, going to new restaurants that are common in the south, and talking with all those nice people with different accents. (Although, I guess since we’re the outsiders here, it is us with the accents!)

Keep it real, my friends!

Lovin’ life and livin’ in the moment,

Anna MEYER

Reblog: My Wife Has Tattoos: Marriage, New Birth, and the Gospel

This relates to what Dr. Wile E. Coyote and I are learning in the book “The Momentary Marriage” by John Piper. And this guy’s post is pretty cool. Less than two months!

Unspoken

Photo credit: Todd Balsley

by Spencer Harmon

Today is the day of my wedding.  And I am not marrying the girl of my dreams.

If you would have told me when I was a teenager that my wife would have seven tattoos, a history in drugs, alcohol, and attending heavy metal concerts, I would have laughed at you, given you one of my courtship books, and told you to take a hike.  My plans were much different, much more nuanced with careful planning, much more clean-cut, and much more, well, about me.

You see, it wasn’t my dream to marry a girl that was complicated.  I never dreamed that I would sit on a couch with my future wife in pre-marital counseling listening to her cry and tell stories of drunken nights, listing the drugs she used, confessing mistakes made in past relationships.

This isn’t my dream – it’s better.

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Being the Bride of Christ and Learning about it with the man who’s bride I’ll be in just over 2 months!

²¹ Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. ²² Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. ²³ For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. ²⁴ Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. ²⁵ Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her ²⁶ to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, ²⁷ and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. ²⁸ In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. ²⁹ After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— ³⁰ for we are members of his body. ³¹ “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” ³² This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church.³³ However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

Dr. Wile E. Coyote and I are going through this book called “The Momentary Marriage” by John Piper—I recommend it to anyone. It explains the marriage relationship between Christ and the Church pretty well, and also talks about human marriage here on earth some. It is a book for anyone—Dr. Coyote and I just decided to go through it together now, because we talked about going through it someday. But seriously. When he’s in med school and I have a full-time job or something, we are NOT going to have time to do that. I digress.

Dr. WEC mentioned to me this morning while we were Skyping that he hadn’t thought much before about being a bride—the bride of Christ. It’s weird for guys to proclaim that they are Bride of the Most High. I mean, it’s easy for girls. I grew up boosting my self-esteem by declaring myself the beautiful bride of Christ. No boys at school will date me? That’s okay, Jesus is going to marry me, so it’s kinda like we’re dating when I’m reading the Word and journaling my prayers to him. Again, digressing.

Men, you are the BRIDE OF CHRIST. Your wives are called to submit to you, and you are the head of your marriage and your family. (But they are the neck.) You are called to submit to Christ, who is YOUR head, the head of the Church. (And God is the head of Christ!) As Christ loves the church, makes her holy, and washes her with water through the word, so also, you men are called to love your wives, point her to Christ, and bathe her in scripture.

So, we are also reading the book together called “Intended for Pleasure” by Ed Wheat, MD and Gaye Wheat. I recommend this book for couples to read as they do premarital counseling. Chapter 3 goes through Biblical principles of marriage, and it’s really great and lining up with other things we’re studying together (it’s like they’re all based of the message of a single and greater being than all of us—oh wait). I think it was this book that talked about how submission comes from within. And going back to Piper’s book, I just finished a chapter that talked about how conditions on the inside lead to demeanors on the outside. “¹² Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, ¹³ bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.” (Colossians 3:12-13). In other words, mercy (compassionate hearts), humility, and patience (endurance) on the inside of us leads to kindness, meekness, and bearing with one another/forgiveness. I believe submission is the outward expression of our inner love and joy for the person we’re submitting to. I find it a whole lot easier to do what I’m told when I’m not mad at the request-giver. In John 14:15, Jesus tells his disciples, “If you love me, you will keep my commandments.” I love my Lord and Savior with all of me. I also love and respect my hubby-to-be. So, out of that love and respect and joy from being with him and talking with Dr. Coyote, I will heed his suggestions (yes D, I stretched longer today and did yoga for, like, 15 minutes after all my roommates left).

I love how Paul takes Genesis 2:24 (quoted in verse 32 of passage above), a verse that talks about marriage, and points it to Christ. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united with his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” Jesus left his father to come down to earth. He paid the ransom for the Church—his bride—so that he could be united with her. When Jesus Christ returns, we will be astounded in glory and the marriage of the Lamb to the Church will take place.  Gah!  When I look up (look toward Christ and not myself), I just get all happy and stuff.

 

So, I’m sorry that this post jumped around some, but I just wanted to share all the exciting things I’m learning! Thanks for tuning in.

Anna