Letting Go and Letting God

It has been a roller coaster of a week. Two weeks ago, I was presented with an opportunity to be a Mary Kay Independent Beauty consultant. Well, Dr. Wile E. Coyote and I discussed it, and decided that this randomly WAS from the Lord. It was totally random, and I had never dreamed of working with beauty products EVER. I was working 4 hours a week at my other job, and needed to get out of the house and associate with people other than in a music lesson or online. So, I accepted the opportunity and ordered a starter kit. Then came the discussion about inventory. Any inventory I bought upfront would be an investment, as I would sell it. But it was block week, so Dr. Coyote and I decided to both pray about it and discuss the following Saturday (AFTER tests were done). We made a decision, I told my sales director and my senior consultant (aka my awesome friend Kat who presented me with this unexpected opportunity).

Last night, Dr. Coyote and I stopped and looked around at what had been happening. We had both somehow been in a little funk this week. My debit card would not allow the purchase of the inventory we wanted (and I had already called my bank to discuss it a few times, thinking everything was said and done after that). My website was not active and I couldn’t get to it. Why were these things happening? My confidence in this decision was faltering, and I was relying on myself to fix everything.

Duh! The devil was trying to stop me, and I was trying to resist him by myself. What happened to the armor that the Lord had given me? He protects my head, always reminding me who I am—I am his child and was chosen by him for a purpose! I wear the belt of truth, so that no lies can entangle me and I can always be reminded of the truth. I wear the breastplate of righteousness, which protects my heart. The breastplate keeps the devil out of my heart because it is too easily deceived on its own. And Jesus lives there, empowering me! I also carry the shield of faith, which protects me from attacks and helps me through obstacles in my path (have you seen the way that Captain America uses his shield? I imagine using the shield of faith somehow like that). I hold the sword of the spirit—the word of the Lord. In my own experience, I have found that if I do not start off my day by reading the word, the rest of my day is filled with self-pity and I don’t look up—I’m stuck “naval gazing” (looking down at myself—it’s all me me me me me). We have access to the word like never before—I think I have 8 bibles on my shelf in different translations or with commentaries and such. And lastly, the Lord has given us use of this amazing “weapon” called prayer. And when we’re praying, we have an access to God that we wouldn’t have otherwise!

This Mary Kay job is a ministry. I decided that right away. I will be doing so much more than I would without it! I will have access to so many more women, and I will be able to invest in them. Way more than if I was sitting at home on my computer (which is what I am doing right now as I type…). This job is also an opportunity for the Lord to do his thing and grant his blessings to Dr. Coyote and I, that we can bless, as well.

Nobody and nothing will get in the way of this. The Lord set it in front of me and showed me possibilities he could do with it. Most med students have $250K of debt when they become a doctor. What if I’m not okay with that? I can interact with women and help them discover the beauty that so many of the rest of us see. Somebody did that for me, and I want to share this greatness! I don’t WANT to be normal. I WANT to be different. I WANT to let Christ use me and shine through me. I WANT to make a difference in someone’s life. And maybe someday I’ll drive a pink car (as long as Dr. Coyote wouldn’t have to). Then someday when you’ll see me, you will know that the Lord has been up to something in my life. Are you going to let him be up to something in yours?

Anna E Meyer

God’s Awesome Plan is ALWAYS Better Than Mine

It all started when a prof of mine asked if I was giving lessons this summer and added “(HINT)” at the end of the question in an email.  I thought I was going to be staying in Sioux Falls all summer, so I went right to work, contacting the right people to reserve space and get everything lined up at my school.  And then, I didn’t get any of the jobs I applied for in Sioux Falls, so I made the decision to be home for the summer.  I had already been in the works for arranging lessons in Sioux Falls, so I decided that I’d just commute.  It’s only a two hour drive.  Knowing I’d be home over the summer, I called the local music store near there and talked to the owner about giving lessons.  He said he wanted to meet me before recommending me to anyone, but that I could teach percussion and brass, as there was already a woodwind instructor there (himself).  “If there are lessons to give, you can give them.”  Well, that didn’t sound very promising, so I stuck with my decision to be in Sioux Falls, as well.  And then.  I don’t know many facts, but apparently an area middle school band director just left, so a few of his students were wanting summer lessons, so they called the local music store.  So far, I have one student in Sioux Falls and four at home.  I am alternating weeks there and here, choosing Tuesdays to be my lesson day.  Percussion is my main instrument, so I am doing that in Sioux Falls, but I am doing both percussion and brass at home.  I did take trumpet lessons last semester and I understand how all the others work (I’ve played them all, just not recently).  I am student teaching next semester, after all, and teaching all the instruments in lessons in the school.  And, I’m only teaching one non-middle schooler.  Have I mentioned that I want to teach beginners and middle school?  The one non-middle schooler is an adult who wants to refresh her skill and just get playing again.  I don’t know what that will be like, and I’m kind of nervous for that one, but seriously, things are just going perfectly.

When I look back on this last spring (was it spring?  It was like, winter, summer, bleh), I am kind of amazed.  I fought so hard to stay in Sioux Falls, but God’s way is always best.  Obviously, he didn’t want me there.  I even turned down a part-time job there because I felt that I was supposed to—first, because I thought I was going to get this last full-time job, but now, I realize, because I was supposed to be here.  God blows my mind all the time, and this situation is no different.  So much good has been happening here at home, and I’ve only been here for, like, two weeks.  As my last post talked about, I get to help out with this century farm party.  I’ve actually been helping out on the farm, and I’m really loving it.  My sister, Laura, was always helping dad out before, so there was little for me to do.  I know she’s sad that she’s not helping out on the farm this year, but I honestly don’t think I would get to do what I’ve been doing if she were here.  She is stretching out her independence, and I know that she is learning a lot about herself and just what it is to be independent in Sioux Falls where she is working this summer.  Laura, if you’re reading this, I love you a ton, and I am in no way trying to be mean.  I’m just in awe about God’s work.  My appreciation of this farm has grown as I’ve been learning about its history, and being able to help out in the ways I have been has certainly enriched this appreciation, as well.  My dad, and all the farmers in this family before him, is just awesome.  Seriously.  My sister Christina is working out near Rapid City this summer, so this is the longest time it’s been just me and the ‘rents since before Christina was born (really? that’s kind of crazy!).  I am keeping probably too busy, this being summer and all, but I love every moment of it! (God continually leaves me full of awe, which isn’t “awe-ful,” but only some.)

I hope all of you are having a great start to your summers, as well!

Anna

God’s Plan: Even though he won’t let me see it, it’s okay, because He is Ultimately GOOD

“Maybe the reason God doesn’t tell us his plan for our lives, is because if we knew everything that was going to happen to us, then we would trust our knowledge of our lives and not God’s guidance into the unknown.”

This was my friend Matt T’s Facebook status today.  I love how when I need to hear something, God finds a way to tell me.  Like the verse of the day I get emailed to me every day?  Philippians 4:6-7 this morning.  And the fact that when they came to visit yesterday, my parents left encouraging post-its all over my room and I didn’t find all of them last night.  (I think they know I’m a ‘words of affirmation’ person and value words way more than what others think when they use them sometimes.)  Today was a rough day.  Because yesterday, I hit a burn out point and a breaking point within hours of each other.  It’s really frustrating, being burnt out when there are three weeks before graduation.  (Ah, but I will still have another semester!  But student teaching will be different than listening to lectures and writing super long papers.  Instead I’ll be writing lesson plans and be in front of kids all day.  Hypothetically more fun.)

I’ve been trying to “relax” when I can, but I don’t know if I even remember how.  I journaled to the Lord what was going on in my head, telling him the lies that were circulating, even though I knew they were just that—lies.  I felt him combat them and direct me to Bible verses.  And then I had this feeling that I needed to play the piano—now.  I was really confused if that was me or him, actually, but I listened.  As soon as I sat down at the piano, I played a diminished seventh chord (loudly).  I played inversions of it to make a sort of melody in the top voice.  And then I realized that the left hand ostinato I’d been messing with for the last month or so fit the diminished seventh and then resolved it.  So I went back and forth—a FORCEFUL diminished seventh, followed by a mellower major chord.  I added a minor chord in there sometimes.  And then I just played.  Many diminished, minor, and sometimes major chords played a melody while my left hand played the ostinato, moving from C major/diminished, to D major, to E minor, sometimes E diminished seven.  Together, the dissonance created beauty.  Because I was in my dorm room, I had headphones on, so I was the only one who could hear it (that is OKAY).  But it was exactly what I needed.

Where words stop, music speaks.  When I have let the music have its say until I can’t feel my fingers, I turn to writing once more. These are words I write now.

I don’t really know where the future will bring me.  I have no idea still what I’ll be doing this summer, but arrangements have been made for me to either stay here or at home.  I’m not sure what I’ll do for a semester after I graduate, but I am planning on interning with Cru for a year after that.  And then?  I have absolutely no idea.  But I have given all these fears and added stresses to God, who’s got my back.  I have realized that I must surrender these anxieties to him daily, or I find them in my hands and am freaking out again.  It’s like I’m in the car and not being shown the road map.  But I am okay, because “if we knew everything that was going to happen to us, then we would trust our knowledge of our lives and not God’s guidance into the unknown.”

An Update and a Prologue to my Summer

For first, I am done with college for the year (and I’m going to be a SENIOR when I get back in the fall!  Whaaa?).  I came home from the stress and such of the last few weeks of classes to join my family in preparation because my youngest sister is graduating from high school TODAY!  Woo!  Her open house is tonight.  More family will be here today (excited).  And yes, Laura will be in the same town as her other two sisters next year (although a different school)!

For second, this summer, I am going to Milwaukee Summer Project 2012 as STAFF—yes, the same project I went to last year, but the other side of things.  Summer Project is such a good thing, and I have seen and experienced what God can do in such a spiritual greenhouse.  Staff only stays for half the summer, so I’ll be home July 1, but I’m super excited for the opportunity and to pour into a few of the girls that will be there!  I am kind of nervous, as my MS isn’t really behaving itself too well, and heat affects it in a bad way.  But I am totally trusting the Lord here and doing what I know I can do to help (exercise, treat my body right).  He called me to be staff this summer, and anything and everything is possible for God.

You are all invited to join my prayer team for the summer!  At the moment, prayer requests include:

–          For the staff, as final plans are made for the summer

–          That God will use the staff and what they have planned to fulfill what HE has planned for the summer

–          And for me, that the MS I have won’t interfere with what this summer has in store!

Smiling in excitement!

Anna =)^2