My freshman year of college, during the first day of my communications class, I was asked to bring an item to the next class that represents me. My item: An index card. I made lists for everything. I had a to-do list for every day of the week and every week as a whole. I had index cards posted in my dorm room above my desk of my schedule each day of the week. As a music major, it was always a fight for practice rooms. Especially being a percussionist, I had to fight for practice time on some of the bigger instruments. My solution? Get up at 6, be in the band room by 7, practice until the first class in the room at 8. I was an early riser, determined to get my work done in a timely matter. In high school and in to college, I was a type-A perfectionist. I remember my cousin, Jenni, saying to me before my graduation open house, that she did NOT want to see what I’d be like on my wedding day.
And then the MS in my body started slowly progressing. I learned that door holding was something I could do, while moving percussion equipment was something I could not. I learned that by asking someone else for help, I was giving them an opportunity to be a blessing. I had conversations with God that would ask him for something small (like somebody to show up right when I needed them) and thank him the instant somebody saw me and asked if they could help. I could not control my body, so I eventually gave up trying to control everything else. And me, on my wedding day? I had “love brain” so bad, that I didn’t care what was happening, because I was getting married. I was asked how I wanted the church decorated a few days before. “I don’t care, ask Laura.” My sister was a rock’n awesome MOH, by the way. She said that she’ll give me so many decisions and responsibilities as her wedding. I just laugh, because I can see her micromanaging her big day in the best possible way. She is the best, after all. 😉
When I was in labor for my daughter (the only for now), a nurse panicked and ran for the doctor. My husband, a 3rd year med student at the time, got nervous. They put me on oxygen to help Lydia breathe better. He looked at me all concerned and asked if I was all right. Me, having received an epidural a few hours previous, smiled and told him that I was great, actually. I was going to have a baby! I have been, and still am, very involved with MOPS (mothers of pre-schoolers).
Fast-forward to now. I know I can’t control my body. I don’t even try to control things. My husband, the doctor-in-training, has enough worry and stress for the both of us. Why bother? But something needs to change. Last year, I decided in February that I was going to read 100 books, and I did. But this year, I am going to write. I got out my index cards again (because yes, I still have TONS) and made a few goals. But a SMART goal. One that is specific, manageable, attainable, realistic, and timely. And then we start with baby steps. First off the bat, is writing for 25 minutes a day minimum. About anything. Everything. My first day? Rambled on and on and on and…you get the point. But I decided that I want to start blogging again.
My 30th birthday was over Thanksgiving weekend, and my husband presented me with a box from “ALL your friends and family.” I was super confused until I opened the box. Almost 150 people sent me a birthday card! It took me a few days to read them all. Now, I don’t cry during sappy movies or when something is touching. I don’t even necessarily tear up. But as I was reading some of those cards, I was definitely misting. A few people told me how much they enjoyed my blog. All this to say, I’m back, everyone!
As I move forward, I will lay off the reading a bit. Maybe cancel my Kindle Unlimited subscription. (But there are a few Indie Authors that haven’t finished writing their series yet. I def have to finish those!) I will start writing again, and I will find my voice that has been somewhere inside me looking for a platform. I haven’t even been journaling lately. But that will be a few days’ worth of these 25-minute-segments, I’m sure.
What about you? Have you set a goal, or as some people call it, “A New Year’s Resolution?” Try breaking it down into little steps. It’s not near as daunting, and it is so worth it!
Be blessed, everyone!