Getting my Life Back

So, I’ve been sitting at home, back in Kentucky, since April. I have checked and double checked our baby registry. I have been Bible art journaling. Even though I don’t have a lot of energy to do so, I have tried to help out around the house as I can. And yesterday, I realized. Why am I not writing? Why am I not playing piano every day? These two activities are ones that I LOVE; have much finger dexterity in February or March, but I have it back now! Why is the child in my womb not hearing her mommy play music all the time? Why has my creative slow simply stopped?

So, I am re-discovering ANNA. I have made a commitment to write and play the piano, 30 minutes a day each. I have an author friend who was starting to write a book in October or November, and she published it a few weeks ago. Why do I drag my stinkin’ feet every time I close in on a goal of mine? Yeah, the first book I self-published, I went about it all wrong. But that doesn’t mean I should STOP. I had to cancel piano lessons in January, because of my relapse, which led me to live in Minnesota for a few months while everything was figured out health-wise. But I have heard interest of new students—why have I not been pursuing them super hard? Um, if I leave it all up to them, they won’t be taught!

In the next year, I plan to WRITE. I plan to self-publish more books that I think my audience will enjoy. Books that have been cooking in my head for YEARS, that simply need to be refined and rewritten. I didn’t even sleep very much last night, because my brain was remembering all the things I have wanted to do for so long. I have two months until baby comes. Then, even though I’ll be exhausted, I will still be at home. Even if my body can’t do everything I want it to when I want it to, I can WRITE. I can PLAY. So, what am I waiting for? I even got up at 6am this morning because I couldn’t wait. (I’ll probably crash in a few hours, but hey, I’m up now!)

Here’s to getting my life back!

The Great Author

picture source: google images

In the last year or so, I have discovered that my friend Amy is as much of a writer as I am.  Writing/English is not the major either of us has pursued, but we both love to write.  We both like to write fiction and tie Jesus into it a ton, that the reader might learn about Jesus from a different schema as he or she reads about this character’s experiences or that character’s life.  Last weekend, Amy and I FINALLY had an opportunity to get together and bounce story ideas off of each other and write and encourage each other in our writing.  We had been trying to get together since the beginning of November, and now that school is finally winding down, we found a time!  We laid out our story skeletons and asked each other for input.  We added to our own stories, and checked in to make sure that it was making sense.  For each of our stories, we have been doing research and reading and writing a ton, and before the story is even begun, we know what is going to happen.

The greatest author of all time is God.  Since before time began, God knew all the things that would happen.  He knew me, and he knew you.  He also knew the climax of his story, how the plot would move forward to get there, and how the story would find a resolution.  In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth.  Since the beginning, God has known the end of earth’s story, and all the stories of humankind.  He knew that our world would be broken, and that there wouldn’t be any way he could have the relationship with us he wanted so badly.  He knew that he would have to send his son to become flesh, be born into poverty and in this broken world, surrender everything, and die.  God knew that in his death, Jesus would be taking on the sins of the whole world, and through it, we could find redemption.  The greatest author of all time began foreshadowing in the beginning, and uses language we can understand but that’s so complex and its meaning so deep, that we have to keep searching over and over again.  I am talking about both the Bible and real life, here.  Everything that happens does so for a reason.  Good prevails, even if it doesn’t feel like it from our end.  The bad things that happen to us are what keep the plot moving forward, it’s what develops character.  And if we’re looking for it, we may realize that God is saturated in everything and has been guiding us and teaching us the whole time.  We don’t get to see the whole picture until we reach the end.  But we can TRUST that this divine author knows what he’s doing.

Which brings me to another matter: sometimes, I try to write my own story.  Which is dumb, because there are things I can’t control, and compared to God, even the greatest award-winning author here on earth can’t come CLOSE to his awesomeness.  When I take the pen and barge in, I feel like I have control.  But I also am overwhelmed with worry and anxiety.  However, when I give God the pen to my life and let HIM write it, I feel much better.  And, more than feeling, because basing things on feelings isn’t always smart.  I think that life in general is a lot easier to live when you’re just living it and not trying to take on responsibility that isn’t yours.  This was my biggest struggle in high school, I think.  The whole control thing.  Which is trying to write your own story.  So I’ll just say it: as a writer, you suck.  So do I.  God does things that aren’t even imaginable!  Also, he didn’t have to spend weeks planning what he was going to “write” before he began.  He just IS.

That’s not to say that you’re living in a storybook, but it is to point out that you aren’t the main character.  Neither am I, neither is anybody but Christ.  And since it’s his story that you play a significant supporting role in, why not live out the part?  But don’t worry, God is taking care of that, as well.  You don’t have to try too hard.  You just have to be willing.  Which leads me to the greatness of God.  What?  We don’t even have to do anything we don’t think we can?  Just ask Christ to help us out?  (Disclaimer: Jesus won’t do your homework for you.  That’s not what I’m talking about.  But if you ask him, he may just give you motivation and focus, which is what we need!  Grr, finals.)

Another note about God’s awesome writing: he includes every genre in one story.  How cool is that!?  You say it can’t be done, but alas, look up. 🙂

After finals, I think I’ll be writing.  But in the meantime and every time, I will admire and worship the divine, the Great Author.  I surrender the pen and write my story. (I’m in suspense– what will happen next!?)

 

Anna 🙂

Saturday Smiley: Books

There are many kinds of books.  If you have ever ventured to my page, “Anna’s Recommended Reads,” you can see some of the variety I personally like and a few of my favorite titles.  There is so much out there!  When someone says, “book,” they could be referring to a boring textbook for class or an exciting “movie-in-your-head” type.  They could be referring to a non-fiction book about a famous person in history or one of those FYI books that’s always interesting, as well.  I personally am a fan of fiction and the books typically found in the “Christian Living” section of a bookstore.  And fiction is a broad category in itself.  There are mysteries, romances, fantasy books, suspense/adventure books, and MORE.  Love it.

A word about the “Christian Living” books: I love writing in them and underlining stuff.  I just haven’t seemed to be able to try a Nook or Kindle yet because I mark up the stuff I like so much.  Kind of like the Bible—I underline what I like and what jumps out and what is convicting and what is something I’ve been struggling with and on and on (run on sentence, sorry).

A word about the “movie-in-you-head” type books:

Books Movies
Your imagination sets the story and brings it to life Can rot your brain (staring at a screen?)
Can leave a bookmark in the middle of it and walk away You get to hear the cool accents characters might have
Can re-read the last chapter to make sure you didn’t miss anything Background music
More action fits between the pages in a book Shorter to start/finish
Can hear thoughts of the main character (who’s usually telling the story) Spoofs
Stimulates brain Can multi-task while watching (I like to color)

 

I am bias, of course.  I had more negatives down for “movies” originally, but I crossed some stuff out.  Oh, and I hate it when books I love are made into movies.  I am ALWAYS disappointed.  In my dorm room currently, I have a case of DVDs right next to my shelf of for-fun books.  On that shelf, I have some “comfort books” and some books that are on a priority to read when I have time.  It’s unfortunate that I don’t have a lot of time to read anymore.  But once I start a book, I really don’t want to stop.  I read a lot over J-Term break because I didn’t have other homework I really should have been doing instead.  During the school year, I sometimes feel guilty when I read, because there is always a long list of things to get done.

Do you have anything to add to the “books vs movies” list?  I like movies when I want to just do nothing for a few hours and the internet is dumb, but I love reading when I have time to do so.  THUS, books are my Saturday Smiley this week!

=)^2 Anna