It has been a long while since I’ve written anything here. Life happens, we all get busy. Today, I wanna talk devotions. I love a good devotional. I am always reading (at least) one all the time! It is such a good exercise to get into the Word of God daily. I used to not be so good at doing so, but the YouVersion Bible app has helped a ton. I also sign up for the occasional Bible study on Lifeway with a friend or read a devo separate from either. I want to share with you two awesome devo’s I’ve read, the second one recent. The narrative is AWESOME. Each of the books is supposed to be 40 days, but I think I finished each in a week or two. What are these devotionals I’m talking about?
My author friend, Joanna Alonzo, wrote these journeys of the heart that seek the Lord with yearning. I read the first book, “Woman in the Wilderness,” a few years ago. Each day has a narrative of a woman, followed by scripture and author’s reflections. If you are in or have been in a wilderness season, this book will speak to you. The description of the book says, “Every Christian in serious and ardent pursuit of Love Divine has, at some point, been the Woman in the Wilderness.” The woman who seeks her Beloved is you! It’s me! I was blown away by this devotional; it resonated with me, though I was not in a current wilderness season
The second book is a sequel, entitled “The Kingdom Child.” This is the book I’m so excited about finishing, I had to share it! The woman has just come from her wilderness journey, and she has now become part of His Kingdom. As in the first book, each narrative, or story, of the kingdom child is followed by scripture and reflections. The Kingdom Child is about growing in God’s kingdom and “exploring [His] heart for His children – in all our uniqueness and differences.” I loved meeting the other characters that the kingdom child interacts with throughout the story. It’s difficult to get along with, work with, or even love your neighbor – even if they are a child of the King, too! Even though I feel like I’m not in the growing season with the kingdom, I loved this book. Who am I kidding? We’re always growing, even if we don’t feel like it!
I love that YouVersion has a streak of days it tracks for you. It’s definitely better motivating to open up the app everyday. I also like to see how many Bible plans I’ve gone through and stuff like that. I’m definitely motivated by keeping track of things like that. I love reading Christian fiction that makes me think, as well.
Do you struggle to read God’s Word everyday? What helps you?
When we moved for residency, I tried starting a new blog. Well, I stopped blogging for like, a year and a half. And I think I like this blog I’m at. There’s history here. I wrote this one as a reflection of my past, and to remind everyone: YOU are important!
I met a girl at church camp one year who’s pinkie toe wasn’t actually on her foot, it was up a couple inches on her leg. I thought that was very interesting. In a show I used to watch on Disney Channel, called, “Phil of the Future,” there is an episode where Phil is embarrassed to go on a class trip because they would all be barefoot as they stomp on the berries to squish them. He was embarrassed, because in the future, nobody had pinkie toes anymore. In an article I read from wiseGEEK explaining the purpose of a pinkie toe, the writers stated that the issue of the pinkie toe’s function is said to be “frequently called into question.” It does the same thing as the three other little toes between it and the big toe. The article goes on to say, “It has been suggested that its…
My freshman year of college, during the first day of my communications class, I was asked to bring an item to the next class that represents me. My item: An index card. I made lists for everything. I had a to-do list for every day of the week and every week as a whole. I had index cards posted in my dorm room above my desk of my schedule each day of the week. As a music major, it was always a fight for practice rooms. Especially being a percussionist, I had to fight for practice time on some of the bigger instruments. My solution? Get up at 6, be in the band room by 7, practice until the first class in the room at 8. I was an early riser, determined to get my work done in a timely matter. In high school and in to college, I was a type-A perfectionist. I remember my cousin, Jenni, saying to me before my graduation open house, that she did NOT want to see what I’d be like on my wedding day.
And then the MS in my body started slowly progressing. I learned that door holding was something I could do, while moving percussion equipment was something I could not. I learned that by asking someone else for help, I was giving them an opportunity to be a blessing. I had conversations with God that would ask him for something small (like somebody to show up right when I needed them) and thank him the instant somebody saw me and asked if they could help. I could not control my body, so I eventually gave up trying to control everything else. And me, on my wedding day? I had “love brain” so bad, that I didn’t care what was happening, because I was getting married. I was asked how I wanted the church decorated a few days before. “I don’t care, ask Laura.” My sister was a rock’n awesome MOH, by the way. She said that she’ll give me so many decisions and responsibilities as her wedding. I just laugh, because I can see her micromanaging her big day in the best possible way. She is the best, after all. 😉
When I was in labor for my daughter (the only for now), a nurse panicked and ran for the doctor. My husband, a 3rd year med student at the time, got nervous. They put me on oxygen to help Lydia breathe better. He looked at me all concerned and asked if I was all right. Me, having received an epidural a few hours previous, smiled and told him that I was great, actually. I was going to have a baby! I have been, and still am, very involved with MOPS (mothers of pre-schoolers).
Fast-forward to now. I know I can’t control my body. I don’t even try to control things. My husband, the doctor-in-training, has enough worry and stress for the both of us. Why bother? But something needs to change. Last year, I decided in February that I was going to read 100 books, and I did. But this year, I am going to write. I got out my index cards again (because yes, I still have TONS) and made a few goals. But a SMART goal. One that is specific, manageable, attainable, realistic, and timely. And then we start with baby steps. First off the bat, is writing for 25 minutes a day minimum. About anything. Everything. My first day? Rambled on and on and on and…you get the point. But I decided that I want to start blogging again.
My 30th birthday was over Thanksgiving weekend, and my husband presented me with a box from “ALL your friends and family.” I was super confused until I opened the box. Almost 150 people sent me a birthday card! It took me a few days to read them all. Now, I don’t cry during sappy movies or when something is touching. I don’t even necessarily tear up. But as I was reading some of those cards, I was definitely misting. A few people told me how much they enjoyed my blog. All this to say, I’m back, everyone!
As I move forward, I will lay off the reading a bit. Maybe cancel my Kindle Unlimited subscription. (But there are a few Indie Authors that haven’t finished writing their series yet. I def have to finish those!) I will start writing again, and I will find my voice that has been somewhere inside me looking for a platform. I haven’t even been journaling lately. But that will be a few days’ worth of these 25-minute-segments, I’m sure.
What about you? Have you set a goal, or as some people call it, “A New Year’s Resolution?” Try breaking it down into little steps. It’s not near as daunting, and it is so worth it!
I write. I see the wall of looming difficulties before me. I cower in a corner for years and obsess about some other hobby. But God reminded me as I read this, that I need to be waiting, too. Waiting and building and improving myself. Ugh. I hate waiting. (Think Inigo Montoya in the Princess Bride.)
So, I was given an advanced reading copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. And honestly? I loved it! I love fairy tales, and I love Christian fiction. This was a combination! Just when you think you know what happens because the story is familiar, you don’t. And then when you are expecting to read the boring parts of the story you already know, you get so excited that you want it to just keep going and going! Joanna Alonzo has done some fantastic writing, and her rendition is absolutely beautiful. I HIGHLY recommend this book to anyone who likes to read, lol. Classic fairytale. Modern day. Christian fiction. And, like all good Christian fiction stories, you close the book with a lesson ringing in your head. Yeah, a lot of things keep making me think of this book after I read it. That means it was awesome!
I believe this book will be available for preorder on December 5, 2016. Here is a link to the website or author, Joanna Alonzo. Since reading this, Joanna and I have struck a friendship. How can I love someone’s work and not want to be their friend? So, check out this awesome book that my friend Joanna wrote!
I am not like other pregnant women. I have MS, and I am recovering from a few relapses that swiped me down. So, I have decisions to make. Always, planning ahead further than I used to, for sure. Where am I going today? Will I be by myself? Will there be any person or device to help me out if I need it? How much walking will I have to do? How exhausted will I be when I return? Will there still be things I need to do right away, like bring in the groceries? Being pregnant, I have realized how much like other pregnant women I am not. Will I be able to breastfeed? I have no idea. It depends on how my MS will treat me the rest of my pregnancy, and how it will treat me during and after delivery. When I go back on my MS medicine, I will not be able to breastfeed. After my little girl is born, how much energy will I have left to do things with her? Better make sure a Pak-n-Play is on the registry for when she gets big enough to move around. How will I be able to keep up with her, if I have troubles moving myself?
The unknowns shower upon me daily, but I don’t want to worry. Yes, I want more kids. But going off and on my MS medicine isn’t good, either. There are so many things that I am unable to do currently, that I may or may not be able to do after baby is born. I just won’t know until the time comes. Oh, I did as much research as I could about pregnancy before my husband and I even considered it. That super-far-ahead, planning in advance? That’s just part of life. But no two women are the same. Actually, most of my research suggested that by this time, my body would have overridden the MS and I shouldn’t be having so many problems. Women I’d talked to who had MS and had been pregnant told me they had never felt better than when they were carrying their child.
But I will sacrifice for my children, always. I treasure carrying this baby girl for all the same reasons other women treasure pregnancy. I am so excited to start feeling movement and to finally meet her! Yes, we are in med school. That is why I wanted to start a family now—in residency, I won’t see Doug much, and I know that right now is the time he can be around when I need him. When he starts his actual job after residency is over, I may not see much of him then, either. So I treasure this time. Us both being awake at the same time of the day so we can talk together or cook together.
In January, after my really bad relapse, I went up north to live with my parents. It killed me, being away from Doug and my friends. But I had a goal: get strong enough to come back to KY, because I AM going to have the baby there so I can be with Doug. My parents let me come back after I could take care of myself again and I was doing better. About a week after I’d been home, I had another relapse, set off by a UTI. And I caught it super early, especially compared to my relapse in January. I can still take care of myself, and it feels oh-so-good to be home! As I set up doctors’ appointments to help me get better now and for baby in the future, I keep taking little steps to get where I need to be. I am not very mobile on my own, but that will quickly change!
Matthew 6:25-34 has become a theme verse of mine over the years:
25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?
28 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? 31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
No, this does not take away my worry. I haven’t felt baby move yet—how well can I feel down there? Will I be able to feel her move before she really starts kicking? I’ve been told that even women who are paralyzed are able to deliver naturally, and that put some fears at rest. Also, probably like other new moms, I have no idea what I’ll need for baby. I’ve started a baby registry and all that, but in reality, I have no stinkin’ clue, nor do I have brand preferences (there’s a diaper pail? Different from a garbage? And HOW many different brands am I supposed to choose from?)
What is worry, anyway? Is it simply fear? Because yes, I’m terrified. But I’m also excited for this new chapter in life. My med-student husband (read: is learning the worst case scenario for everything possible) says he’ll be glad when I’m not pregnant. But I’m going to miss it. I’m only 21 weeks, so still 4 months to go. I say, on with the adventure! God will take care of me. He has proven it true over and over again.
I really enjoyed writing the series “It’s a Love Story.” And Dr. Wile E. Coyote loved reading it, too. He thought it was pretty cool to remember back and to hear things from my perspective. I figured now, the first post after that wonderful series, I’d write about being married. I am a pretty great wife, if I do say so myself. Allow me to boost up my self-esteem:
I never liked cooking. It was annoying, and I didn’t have patience for it. But I can follow directions. Now? I have time and my husband eats what I make for dinner or supper (yes, the meals are dinner and supper here, too!). I have done crock pot meals, I have tried recipes given to me by family as just recipes or cookbooks, even. I really like the cookbook given to me by my mother-in-law, and I already knew a few recipes my own mother has made. I learn by observation, apparently. And friends and family are quick to reply when I text them asking for a recipe. “What’s that stir fry sauce you made that one time?” or “Ground meat sloppy joe recipe, GO!” And then I write it down on an index card so that I don’t have to ask again. I’m also getting really good at meal planning. I am so proud of myself that I wanted to share it all with you guys! (You “guys.” I so am from Minnesota. I even regularly use phrases like “uff da” and tell people that I’m “not too bad.” Dr. Coyote is so from Wisconsin, too. “You know,” is a phrase that has always and may forever be in most of his speech. 🙂 Also, we have a lot of cheese in our little apartment. And freezer, so if we run out, we won’t have to wait for the next trip to the grocery store. I’m not a fan of shopping.)
Because I work in the afternoons, I have my mornings, typically. I have been impressed with my laundry habits. I see laundry as annoying. And, our first month here, Dr. Wile E. Coyote did laundry, because it relaxes him or something. I’ve been doing laundry more! And when I’m bored (but seriously—am I ever bored?) I look for things to put in the washing machine or something. I guess I like doing things so that I feel like I have been productive with my time. Taking out the garbage? Cooking a meal? But then Dr. Coyote comes home and tells me to sit. Yeah, he knows me. That I’ll push myself so I feel more “productive.” Why is that? I’m also more productive in the hour or two or three before the Student comes home. I don’t get it either. Anyway, I’m boosting my self-esteem.
This place is decorated fabulously. I know that’s done and over with, because we’ve been here a few months, but I am so proud of it! We don’t have much space, but I have been utilizing the space we do have and using my creativity for storage. I am always so excited to have someone over so I can give them a tour! Friends, though there isn’t too much to do around here, and Pikeville, KY is not conveniently on the way to anything, we’d love visitors. There are 3 or 4 hotels in this town, because all Dr. Coyote and I have for company is an air mattress. But you’re welcome! (Seriously, we do have an air mattress….just saying.)
Alright, I’m done tooting my horn. Want to hear about Dr. Wile E. Coyote being a good husband? Well, because we’re newlyweds, he’s good at it. That’s his excuse right now. At the male Sunday school class he’s a part of, he prefaces things with, “Well, I’m a newlywed, but….” Etc. I tell the girls in my own Sunday school class things, and they tell me that Doug may be the guy who all the others are like, “Stop! You’re making us look bad!” But I digress. I think Dr. Coyote is good at being a husband in general, newlywed or not.
Dr. Wile E. Coyote, though not always good at surprises, loves surprising me. We do the dishes together every night (mostly because it’s time that we get to talk with each other, no matter how the day went), but sometimes I’ll come home to find the dishes done. Or something else around the house cleaned or picked up. Also, folding laundry does relax the student doc. I will do laundry, yes, but I’ll let him fold it. And he likes that. Sometimes he cooks for me. I do a lot of the cooking and meal planning around here, but he is really good at whipping things together that taste well together. (We’re both adventurous to trying new things together.)
The best part about Dr. Coyote being a husband, though, is the way he cares for me. A year ago, we were both like, “This is too good to be true! Something’s gonna happen.” And something did happen, that made the “too good” feeling even better. Being married is having someone who cares for you and puts your needs before their own. Now, it doesn’t always happen like that, and I am continually surprised when Dr. Coyote notices me getting tired or beginning to push myself. I’m surprised when he tells me that I am talented and affirms me and encourages me. My love language is words of affirmation and physical touch, and he loves me in that way so often that I’m surprised. He “senses” when I need a hug and asks if something is wrong when he “feels a disturbance in the force.” That has never happened to me before, nor did I ever expect it. But I love it. He talks me up to his friends and brags about my cooking (which has been getting better and better). Oh, how I love this husband of mine!
I wanted to tell you all more about our lives here. About being a wife and having a husband. Because I know I would love to write so many letters but would be telling you all the same thing! I know I’ve said in previous blogs that Dr. Wile E. Coyote and I have been blessed, and that we totally see God’s hand here. But it’s true and worth saying again. Because the family I’ve made at our church? I have so many friends and prayer support at Trinity Harvest! There is this Facebook group for the women of the church, and we post prayer requests and praises, ask questions of other women, and just move fellowship to social media, also. I love it. And my job? I am still in awe that Dwain held it for me until I got here. My goal is to be irreplaceable, and I now have five students. That’s a low number to me at the moment; me who would love to be giving four or five lessons a day. But the Lord knows when I’ll be able to handle it, and I trust him (even though I pray for more students almost daily).
This is just an update, I guess, because we have so many friends and family everywhere that are wondering how we’re doing. We are doing well, my friends, and I feel so loved every time I hear from somebody else!
Love from the newlywed that is expecting to stay in the honeymoon phase for a lot longer,
The Monday of wedding week, I had one more trip to Sioux Falls to make. I needed to make sure everything of mine was out of my apartment. I needed to pick up the silk flowers that had been made there. I needed to pick up my brace, which should be working! So my mom and I went to Sioux Falls and took care of business. I had been doing physical therapy the month of June, as well, so that finished up.
Fast forward to Wednesday: Dr. Wile E. Coyote and Beth came. Dr. Coyote with the minimal of things he needed for two-ish weeks.
Thursday: Laura threw me an awesome bachelorette party, with lunch at my favorite place in Marshall, a scavenger hunt, ice cream, and mani/pedis. I give her the award for best MOH. My roommates threw me a bachelorette a few weeks earlier. That included tie-die, alcohol, and “the friends game.” That was fun, as well, just me and them! I have been missing out on so much of this story. I digress. That night, we took a family photo for the church directory. We were like, “Wedding this weekend– we just need one picture for the directory, because we won’t be buying any.”
Friday: We finished packing up a U-Haul of all my stuff before Jim and Karen (parental in-laws) came! I also finished packing about that time, and for the first time, was starting to get stressed. About moving. I wasn’t really stressed about the wedding or anything. I also met the three groomsmen for the first time! I had talked with them all on Facebook, but I met them in person! I met Matt first, and then I met Kyle and new wife Maddy, as well as Billy, right before the rehearsal began. Fun stuff. The rehearsal dinner was awesome! I think everyone just had a grand ole time. Jim’s speech was great (though really, I don’t remember it all anymore), dinner was awesome, and Karen did a marvelous job getting everything together! The guys had the bachelor party that night, because it was the first time they’d all been together in a long while. I think they went bowling, and invited some other males that were already in hotels and such. Sounds like they had fun, anyway!
Saturday: Princess Day. 8am, hair done. Emily and Megan brought coffee and bagels. Then us girls headed to the church, Laura and I stopping by home on the way. The day really wasn’t rushed or anything! My make-up was done by my sisters, mom pressed our dresses, and Karen had ordered a party sub for the wedding party so that we could eat. I loved seeing people there in between pictures and going downstairs before the service. Let me tell you about the music at my wedding, because it could not be typical. I am Anna—the music-obsessed percussionist who had just graduated college and had friends and family who are very musical that I took advantage of!
Prelude: Piano music, hymns, mostly, by my former piano teacher (who also played the organ throughout the service)
Processional for Wedding Party: Dr. John Pennington on the vibes, and his wife Mary, played “Jesu, Joy of Man’s Desiring.”
Bridal Processional: Organ, “Ode to Joy”
As soon as I got up there, the congregation sand “Joyful, Joyful We Adore Thee.”
Between readings, my “foreign-exchange-sister” from Germany sang “Love Never Fails” by Brandon Heath. She actually couldn’t be there, so it was a recording, but she and a friend did it in Germany and then sent us the mp3.
After the readings and before the message, the congregation sang “Love Divine” because the words fit with the readings.
While we were braiding the cord of three strands (instead of a unity candle), Viktoria (the foreign-exchange-sister who isn’t actually my sister but might as well be) sang “God Gave Me You.”
“The Lord’s Prayer”, with the organ, a flute (played by one of my good friends from college), and the baritone voice of my cousin, Luke.
Recessional: Organ, “The Halleluiah Chorus.”
As we were walking out of the church, Luke (who has the great voice), was playing the theme from “The 1812 Overature” on his cello, which I didn’t know he was going to do! He and Dr. Wile E. Coyote planned that all by themselves.
And can I continue talking about surprises of the day? I had a banner made that said “Doug and Anna, June 28, 2014” that hung just outside the church that Dr. Coyote didn’t know about. A LIMO took us from the church. We stopped at these apartments to see some older folk from my congregation who I like visiting with before we got to the reception! That was Dr. Coyote and my dad, I think.
As we came in to the reception, the 1812 Overature played. (My request.) My pastor-uncle Brian said a little something and then prayed before the meal.
Toward the end of the meal, my dad got up and gave a speech. Goodness, he even choked up a bit, which made it better. “When I first met Doug,” my dad said, “I was not afraid that he might be the one to marry my daughter.” My dad also said in his speech that he’d been praying for Dr. Wile E. Coyote since way before he knew that Dr. Coyote would marry me. I didn’t cry, but I know a few others who might have.
Kyle, the best man, he talked about Dr. Coyote, much from the summer where they lived in apartments next to each other in his speech. He remembered Dr. Wile E. was filling out med school applications and studying for the MCAT. Kyle wants to be a Christian doctor, as well, and it was something he and Dr. Coyote bonded over. Kyle gave examples of things Dr. Coyote did in college that he looked up to. It was sweet.
Laura’s speech was spectacular. Am I bias in saying that, because she is my sister? Maybe. Anyway, she started out with “Well, I did prepare a little something,” right before she totally unrolled a big thing of paper (see picture…it’s too hard to describe. She called me her Barbie doll, her sidekick, and her hero. She gave the secret recipe to why I’m so happy all the time (3 part secret: I love myself, everyone else, and God!). Her speech was great, and I so loved it. And her. I love her like crazy.
Let me take this time to give a shout out to my other spectacular sister who didn’t have to write a speech or do much more than show up and look fabulous. It was really hard deciding which would be my maid of honor, but I knew I wanted a sister of mine to do the honors. My sisters tell everybody they’re twins, and everyone believes them.
Our non-alcoholic wedding reception had people dancing and having a ton of fun until the DJ stopped the music. There were a core group of people who hadn’t really stopped dancing (and if they did briefly, they went right back at it). It was a testimony to the people that were working at the reception hall, because it just shows you can have non-alcoholic fun! I love all my family and friends that were rippin’ it up on the dance floor all night!
I wanted to be everywhere at once during the reception. I wanted to dance, I wanted to visit. I wanted to give hugs and pose in pictures, and sometimes, I just needed to sit. There was a relative of mine (like, dad’s cousin’s granddaughter) that was following me around a lot of the night because she was captivated by the bride. I was that pretty bride I’d always looked up to! I remember going to my mom’s cousin Gail’s wedding when I was little, just being amazed that the bride—the main character of the day, knew who I was! Anyway, a few people asked Kezia if she wanted to dance, but she just wanted to watch. She looks exactly like her mother did and I couldn’t get over her cuteness-factor. (Way to go, all you Amdahls, on beautiful children!) As usual, I pushed myself, and was way tired by the end of the night.
I’m not going to bore you all with details of what happened after the reception. Did you really think I would put that here? You’re getting details, but not those details. I shall continue my narrative in part VII, which will be up Monday!
Good-byes. I really don’t like them. We don’t talk about “next year” in this apartment. For this reason and many others, I Facebook stalk. Facebook is how I catch up on the lives of those who are far from me and I can’t hug. Sometimes, I drop random Facebook wall posts or messages on people I’m thinking about. If Dr. Wile E. Coyote gets the scholarship we’re praying for, after med school, we could be potentially moved around a bunch. So basically, I’ll have a lot of Facebook friends I wish I could catch up with in person. And I post on Facebook a bunch to give my Facebook friends the opportunity to stalk me and find out what is going on in my life!
This post is short, but I just want to emphasize that Facebook is how I stay in contact with friends and family that live all across the US and in a variety of countries throughout the world. To my Facebook friends who clicked on this link: UPDATE YOUR STINKIN’ FACEBOOK PROFILE SO I CAN CHECK IN ON YOU! I love you all. I also love words of affirmation and little random notes from people I haven’t spoken to for a while. And I love dropping little random notes on you all. SO CHECK FACEBOOK MORE THAN ONCE A YEAR, PLEASE!
When it hurts to say good-bye, it just means that we’ve had some pretty great people in our lives. Or something like that. 🙂 But it also means we’re going to say “Hello” to some new great people (which is why I’ll just keep getting more Facebook friends so I can keep up with them long after we’ve parted ways).
My roommates and I take turns picking out movies when we decide to watch a roomie movie. Last time it was LB’s turn, I told her to pick one she hadn’t seen (between the four of us, there are a lot of movies at this place!). So, of course, I had to pick one I hadn’t seen because LB told me to. So, I picked one we had that I hadn’t seen (I’m a movie buff, I guess you could day, ‘cuz I watch a lot of different stuff just to watch them.): Twilight. I didn’t read the books or see any of the movies. I had been surrounded by readers/fans when the movies first came out and stuff, and frankly, I didn’t get it. But I figured I might as well give it a chance. Give it a chance, I tried. Consequently, I laughed through a lot of it because of its ridiculousness. Thus, the list was born.
How Not to Date According to Twilight:
1. Never date a vampire.
2. If he sparkles, run.
3. If he says he watches you sleep, it’s time to get a restraining order.
4. If he’s always ice cold, he’ll never warm your heart.
5. If he’s faster than the speed of light, he’ll never be able to run with you.
6. If he thinks your blood smells better than other blood, make him bleed.
7. If he is able to stop a speeding car with his hand and doesn’t have an “S” on his chest, he’s a freak. Or a vampire. Refer to tip #1.