On the Farm: Last Week, Yesterday, and Next Year

The little girl squealed in glee as a kitten hopped toward her. Ducking behind a haybale, she pretended to be surprised when found by her little friend. Sally, age 5, loved playing with the baby kittens up in the hayloft on the farm. The mama cats would put their kittens up there to keep away from the farm dog who might disturb the cuties. A hayloft had holes in the floor so that the hay could be tossed up into the hayloft for storage, or tossed back down when needed. Full of bales of hay, the hayloft was perfect for playing and having all sorts of adventures. As she was playing that day, Sally suddenly tumbled down one of the holes! Eyes squeezed shut, Sally landed in a soft bed of hay. Opening her eyes, she looked into the eyes of a cow, whose slobber she watched slowly fall onto her forehead.

“You okay?” her dad asked softly.

“Yes,” Sally answered slowly, still watching the cow above her face.

“Don’t tell mom,” said her dad, as he again continued the chores he had been doing.

Sally Hibma grew up on a farm near Rushmore, MN. In the 1950s, each farm was an entity. That means that all the farms had crops, milk cows, and farrowing hogs. The oldest of four, Sally’s first job was to help “slop” the hogs. At age eight, she would drive a tractor to bring the food out to the hogs in the field. After pouring the yeasty-smelling “slop” for the pigs, she would go and come back with water. By the age of ten, she was rotary hoeing fields and raking hay when it was time to bale.

“I loved growing up on a farm,” she said. “There is a difference between kids that do and ones that don’t. Most have a certain discipline about them.”

Her father, J. Marion Lester, rented about 200 acres. His wife, Iris, had a huge garden, as did most farm wives. Nobody owned a thresher (or a combine) themselves. As a group, neighbors would go from field to field, harvesting as a team.

Sally never wanted to marry a farmer, although her sisters would have gladly. When Gary Hibma proposed, he asked her if she would be okay being a farm wife. She said she would, “but I don’t do chickens.” She also never liked gardening, so she did not include that in her job description as she and Gary raised a family and farmed. By the 1970s, there were fewer farmers, but they all had more land. Gary farmed about 1,000 acres and contract raised about 3,000 hogs. Sally stayed at home with her children Jim, Vicki, and David, until only one was not going to school yet. She would then take little David to ride in the tractor with her during the day. With his toys and a lunch packed, he would take turns playing and sleeping to the lull of the tractor.

When all the kids were in school, Gary once had Sally ride in the combine with him. He explained that he would get out, and she would drive to the end of the row. He would help her from there. All of a sudden, Sally realized she was already at the end of the row! Looking for her husband, she saw Gary outside the combine, waving at her! Even with the rocky start, she ran the combine from there on out. She never listened to the radio when she was in the combine. She listened to everything in the machine, knowing exactly what everything was supposed to sound like. One day, she was riding along, when suddenly, she heard a “CLUNK.” Not knowing what the sound was, she immediately stopped and shut everything down. Using the CBC radios that farmers used, she got ahold of Gary and waited to be rescued. When Gary came, he found that the sound his wife had heard was the last bolt coming out of the tire. The combine was balancing on the unattached tire!

“That’s Gary’s favorite story,” she shared. “Had anyone else been driving, listening to the radio, who knows what kind of damage would have been done! It was definitely a God thing.”

When their second child, Vicki, got older, she would ask mom what was for supper. Sally would tell her what to make and how to make it. Once a family friend laughed and told Sally that he now knew all of the family recipes and how to make them. If your CBC radio was on the same channel as a neighbor’s, you heard them, too.

As their kids grew up and went to live lives of their own, the Hibmas still farmed. It was David who wanted to farm of their three. He started farming with Gary, who had started farming with his own father. Most recently, David’s son, Lance, is the one who wants to take over the farm next. Gary and Sally now live on Cherrywood Lane in Worthington. It was Lance who bought the house when the couple moved. A few more years of Lance farming the land, and it will turn into a Century Farm.

What was once hogs is now calves. Gary still visits the farm abour once a week.

“You know, my earliest memory of the farm was my dad selling the work horses,” said Sally. “Nowadays, tractors don’t even have all the levers like they used to. They all have buttons and computers—autosteer,” she laughed. “If farming can change that much in 70 years, what will it be like in the next?”

Intentional

My word for 2023 is intentional. Dictionary(dot)com defines intention as the “act or instance of determining mentally upon some action or result.” Basically, doing something on purpose. What are my intentions? Who do I aim to be? From a Christian standpoint, who does God call me to be? This year, I will try to base my doings off of one question: Am I being intentional? Am I intentionally loving my family? Hanging out with my daughter? This or that friend? Am I being intentional when I teach a little girl to read notes on a piano, able to connect the notes on the staff with keys below her fingers? Messaging a friend?

There are many things that popped up in a Google search for intentional living. A lot of it had to do with goal-setting and trying to stick to a plan. Who is your intention to be? That is all fine and dandy, but I do believe that is a little above my head. I don’t need to have a goal of who I want to be in some distant future. What I do know is who I am: a wife, mother, daughter, sister. A music teacher and (not as often as I’d like) a blogger. I think I’d just like to be more. A little more of everything.

So, when my daughter comes in the house crying because it is way too cold (we moved to Minnesota this summer), I’ll warm her up and make her giggle. When I’m thinking about that friend of mine in Kentucky, I will message her and see how she is doing. I will pay attention. Why am I crabby? It is not my intention to blow up at my family. Let’s play scales on the piano. Lots of them, really loud. (A special thanks to my family who just leaves the room and waits for me to cool off.) I want to be more intentional this year. I’d like to keep blogging, too. Together, we will see where this year takes me!

Do you have a word for this year? What is it?

Be blessed, friends!

Anna

Poems and Books

I saw the woman in the chair; she was in church again today.

Someone said they’ve sold their house; they’re going to move away.

No! I cried, they cannot go; they cannot move away.

I didn’t get to know her; there’s something I need to say:

Please tell me your secret; I want to sit at your feet,

I need to know how you handle the pain that is your daily meat,

How do you keep on smiling when each day your health gets worse?

How do you keep depending on God when you’re living with a curse?

Every time I see her, her smile comes from deep within.

I know her fellowship with God isn’t scarred by the chair she’s in.

She admits her health is failing; she knows she’s fading away.

How can she remain so calm when I’m running away?

My friend, can you tell me how you can trust the Lord

How can you stay so gentle and sweet when He seems to wield a sword?

You are to me a promise even in the midst of pain

God is near and faithful if I will turn to him again.

Liz Hupp

When I heard the former poem, it became my prayer. But then this afternoon, Dr. H took my daughter to the park, so I played the piano for a while. I didn’t get through one song until my fingers became super tired. What was going on? My fingers might be out of shape, but when they are tired, I lose feeling and function. I grew frustrated, as my nap that day hadn’t gone well. So I wrote this next poem.

I am the woman in the chair; I go to church every week.

We’ve just moved again, so I’m new, but let me speak:

It’s true I lean on God for everything, and I’m strong because of Him.

I try to get involved, try and find friends in the community within.

But sometimes I want to cry, just cry.

“It’s not fair!” I yell. “Why me, Lord? Why?”

Why is my illness progressing? Why am I losing function?

Why am I the woman in the chair, the one receiving so many assumptions?

Why do I deal with chronic fatigue, amongst so much more?

It ruins my day, my motherhood, and even my simple chores.

But then His calming presence softly wraps around me.

“I’m still here,” He says. “It’s okay. Just be.”

I sigh as I let it all go. “It’s so hard,” I whisper into His shoulder.

I feel His embrace, and it somehow makes me boulder.

“How did you do it?” I ask. “When You walked the earth?”

“By leaning into My Father,” came the reply. “He’ll show you your worth.”

My eyes were suddenly opened to scripture, as I recalled His promises.

I am salt and light, adopted, and redeemed. I am justified, and I am His.

It doesn’t matter what comes next, because He always will be.

Things might be hard, but my God, He lives in me.

So I can be strong and praise Jesus with my everything.

It’s Him I trust, for health and for life. He is my King.

Anna E Meyer

I have heard people come up to me and tell me what an inspiration I am. I shrug, because I just do what I do, and I make do with what I have. But if someone is encouraged because I keep moving forward? Praise Jesus. Paul said, in Philippians 1, “For me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain.” I hope I can show Christ in my life. I know that one day I will walk and run again. I remember telling my two year old that same thing, so she stopped and prayed right then and there it would happen soon. My life is hard, but Jesus’ life was harder. So many of the early apostles were tortured and killed, all to the advancement of the church. Everyone knew about it and praised God that they were honored to share in Christ’s suffering. It’s hard to see it that way nowadays. Dr.H is reading a book and discussing it with me. “When Jesus Weeps: Why Our Sufferings Matter to the Almighty,” by Joni Eareckson Tada and Steven Estes (where I found the first poem). We are not but a third of the way through it, but boy, is it good. After playing a little piano this afternoon, I felt depressed and defeated. But the Lord speaks to me through my writing.

I’m the lady in the chair, and I think I’ve cooled down.

I’m a child of the Most High, so I’ll just adjust my crown.

I read scripture every night as I go to bed.

His Word is comforting, as I lay my head.

I write to my Lord and sing His praises every day.

I now understand that He’s the potter; I’m the clay.

Stealing lyrics, I’ll sing: Take my life and form it,

Take my mind, transform it. Take my will, and conform it

To Yours, to Yours, oh Lord.

I’ll stand with You and drawn sword.

 I don’t understand why I’ve got this disease,

But You work through Your children as You please.

Because of my life You’ve reached another,

And I don’t need to know reason any other.

Christ suffered while on earth, as well.

You understand and comfort as You tell

Of all the good things waiting for us in paradise.

You’ve made us Yours, You’ve paid the price.

All I can do is praise you today.

All I can write is how I love you always!

Anna E. Meyer

An hour or two after I wrote the first poem, I sat down to write the one above. I can be angry, and then the Lord swoops in somehow and makes me feel better. By reading scripture. Hearing a song, where the words just speak that day. More writing.  There are a lot of things that I, a mere human, don’t understand. My dad always said, “Ask God when you get to heaven.” My daughter, now 5, stops and prays right there that she can find out BEFORE she gets to heaven.

I do not even know how to end this blog post. Maybe I will start writing more. Whichever the case, be blessed, my friends!

Anna

God’s Hand Amid Our Life Update

DrH and I started praying last year that God would lead us to the right job. Back when DrH applied for med school, he went to a bunch of interviews. After he interviewed at KYCOM (Kentucky College of Osteopathic Medicine), he turned down his remaining interviews. He just knew that KYCOM felt like home. When med school was coming to an end, he did away rotations to get a feel for the different residencies he was going to apply for. SIU Med (Southen Illinois University) was rated second on his list. After he matched to SIU, he realized that it was indeed a better fit than his first choice would have been. We’ve been seeing God move through our whole journey! DrH attended a recruiting event or two, and had two interviews. Avera in Worthington felt like KYCOM and SIU did when we got there. It felt like home.

Last fall, we started praying that God would find us a house. We started looking at the housing market after DrH signed his contract in December (but housing markets aren’t very good in the winter…). We found a realtor and toured a LOT of homes. The problem is, it had to be made handicap accessible. We were planning on remodeling whatever needed to be changed so that I would have access to every room in the house. A handicap bathroom, especially. It was February, maybe? When we discovered a subdivision that was being built in Worthington of condos/duplexes. These houses are one level and have wide hallways and doorways (as our builder said, “Baby Boomers love them!”). They keep building them, because people keep buying them. So we bought our house just before they finished up with the outside. We were forwarded the floor plan, and asked, “What changes would you like before we start putting up walls?” So we are treating this house like we’re building it! We picked out the flooring and paint colors, we helped design the cabinets, and I get a handicap bathroom! We own everything from the glass in, and we just need to okay it with the local home owner’s association to put something in our yard. That also means we don’t have to worry about lawn care or snow removal! All our neighbors will be at least 30 years older than us, but I am so excited!

When I pray about something as much as we’ve prayed for this job and this house, I think it’s easier to see God’s hand. We actually toured (virtually) one of our future neighbor’s houses, as Jean is in a wheelchair, too. I am excited to get to know my neighbors, and I am also excited to go back to Southwest Minnesota! We’ll only have to make a bigger trip to visit one side of the family, so it’ll be easier to plan and make time.

Until next time friends, be blessed!

Anna

Life Update and Getting Back to Myself

LIFE UPDATE: We are moving to Worthington, MN, where DrH signed a contract to work as a pediatrician! When we got married almost 8 years ago, we went right to our new house in Pikeville, KY, so he could start med school. And now, eight years later, DrH will finally be done with training (DWT)! No more will we get stipends disguised as paychecks to live off of. (Seriously. Residents provide cheap doctor labor.) THREE MONTHS. Three months until DrH is a licensed physician! Three months until we move (again). Three months to finish all I wanted to do in Springfield when we moved here for residency. I’m only here for three more months. But, I realized I’m HERE for three more months! Planning ahead is great, but let’s make the most of now!

A couple weeks ago, I attended a women’s conference here in town. I listened for God to speak to me. I hear Him more clearly when I’m writing. I heard a few things. The biggest: I have been neglecting so many things that I used to love to do. That were part of me. So in these next three months, I am going to get myself back. A huge part of me had always been writing. I started journaling in 2004 (soon after I was diagnosed with MS). It is a great way to comprehend everything and work through it. In 2010, I turned my journals into “Jesus Journals,” and started writing during my quiet times. Instead of telling my journal what was up, I told Jesus. This is also when I started to learn to listen for God’s voice (it takes time and practice!). Shortly after we moved to Springfield, I stopped journaling. I don’t know why, I just did. I haven’t been journaling daily, but a lot more often than I was a month ago!

Another huge part of my life was fellowship with other women. It’s always easier for them to come to me, and I love hosting! I am also part of our local MOPS chapter here in Springfield. We’ve been trying to meet, even if by Zoom, since the pandemic hit. Our last meeting, I shared part of my testimony. And after, I was talking with some other ladies about this or that. I am finally hitting that try-every-coffee-shop-in-town item off my bucket list! Playdates at my house! Coffee dates without kids! I am a born encourager, and I find so much joy in doing so!

Toward the beginning of the school year, I missed serving at church. I Pikeville, I played keys for the band. I have so missed being a part of something like that. I don’t play much anymore. For a couple years in college, I played drum set for Cru (campus ministry). I sure can’t do that anymore. Anyhoo, I digress. I began running lyrics! So every month or so, I am the lyrics operator during church. I love being there as the band is practicing. The stage is only accessible by stairs, but I have asked the worship pastor if he could build a ramp so I could get up there, too. It is so much easier said than done. I want to sing!

I have three months to pack up everything in the house. Three months to write. To build friendships. To encourage. I have no idea what the next chapter in my life may hold, but I can live out the next few pages now with boldness and purpose!

Be blessed, my friends!

Anna

A Few of My Testimonies (Great Is Your Faithfulness)

The seven-year-old girl eyed the pictures hanging up in the Sunday School room, skeptical. She climbed the stairs with everyone else and found her mom. “Mom,” she declared, “I don’t know if I believe in this Jesus stuff.  It seems too good to be true.” Standing in the lobby of the church, the girl’s mother was taken aback. “But, sweetie, you can’t go to heaven and see Grandma unless you believe in Jesus!” The girl was surprised by her mother’s reaction, and scared she wouldn’t get to go to heaven and see her great-grandma, whose was the only funeral she’d attended. That evening, the girl had a very serious talk with her two little sisters. “And so,” she concluded, “you have to believe in Jesus, or you won’t get to go to heaven.” 

Looking back at my life, I only see the grace of God in so many ways. Too many to count, really. Like the time I had suicidal thoughts, but my sister told me conversationally how much she heard it hurt. That people would call 911 after they overdosed just to get their stomach pumped and some relief. I was afraid of pain. Or this other time, when I went to grab something on the floor of my car, and I went into the ditch. I looked up and was headed straight for a telephone pole. There is no other explanation how I safely got back on the road with only a dent in the borrowed minivan I drove.

At night when I can’t sleep, I sing “How Great is Thy Faithfulness.” If that doesn’t work, I transition to “How Great Thou Art.” I can’t not see the mercies my heavenly father pours out on me. Like when I was headed back to the parking lot in my electric cart, unsure how I’d have the energy to unload groceries into my car. God would send somebody, who was just walking by, to help. Or when I was walking with my walker and reached the end of my rope before I could even get it back in my car. A little help here, God? Well, the lady that had just walked by me turned around to see if I needed help. So many times, I have seen the tangible provision of God. Now, I am in a unique position with my physical disabilities. People walk by me and can sense I might need help. They check, even if unsure. What about the people that look perfectly normal on the outside? Do they receive tangible help, too? The answer is YES. Undoubtedly.

God’s mercies are new and exciting each and every morning. I have verses and promises of God plastered all over my bathroom walls. “I, Anna, have received an unction from the Holy Spirit within me that will reveal, teach, and show me ALL the things pertaining to my life and that which I need to know.” And again, “I am who the Bible says I am, can do what the Bible says I can do, and I will have what the Bible says I can have. And I establish this.” One more of my favorites, “I trust with childlike faith my heavenly father, even though I may temporarily not know all the details and mercies God has set in motion on my behalf!” Thank you, Sallie, for these words I could handwrite on notecards and hang in my bathroom! 

Like everyone, I have my down days, weeks, whatever. In these times I wallow in self-pity and refuse to read or even remember God’s promises. But every time, when I come back, God is just like a loving parent. “You done now?” He seems to ask me with a hint of a smile. “Yeah, yeah,” I admit. “You are always good.” And really, once my pity party is over, I’m reminded of the goodness and faithfulness of my Good, Good Father.

We all have so many testimonies of God’s goodness and faithfulness. If you are a child of God, you have a story somewhere. Can I hear some of your best?

Be blessed, my friends!

Anna

Battle Plan: attitudes and freedom from the past

It hurts my heart to see girlfriends of mine making choices that I see could potentially lead to disaster. A wrong attitude, an inward focus, a selfish heart, and an ego too big. But what can I do? I would do all I can to prevent these things from happening, especially without offending my friend. I have really been diving into spiritual warfare lately. I have found that I am able to not only fight for myself, but my friends and family, too! I composed this plan in the middle of the night, and even though there are names I am praying about, I am excited to watch God take those names down so I can pray for other things. Here is my plan:

 

  • Christ led us into a new form of warfare far more effective than guns and tanks. We have weapons of grace, mercy, love, and the Sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God. – Beth Moore
  • Sisters: life is so much more than you wallow in!

 

  • I pray that your will lines up with God’s, because Matthew 5:8 says, “Blessed be the pure of heart, for they will see the kingdom of God.”
  • A happy heart makes the face cheerful, but heartache crushes the spirit. Proverbs 15:13
  • A good woman brings forth good things out of the good stored up in her, and an evil woman brings up evil things that are stored up in her. Matthew 12:35

 

  • Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name. Psalm 100:4

Hello

  • The past should not be a place where we live, but something from which we learn. – Stormie Omartian
  • Sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. Philippians 3:13-14
  • God is a Redeemer and a Restorer. He can redeem the past and restore what was lost.
    • Make us glad for as many days as you have afflicted us, for as many years as we have seen trouble. Psalm 90:15
  • We can never move out of the present into the future of what God has for us if we cling to the past.
  • Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland. Isaiah 43:18-19
  • Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! 2 Corinthians 5:17
  • You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires, to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness. Ephesians 4:22-24
  • Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 2 Corinthians 4:16
  • He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away. Revelation 21:4

While I’m Waiting

God has healed me, this I know. All I want now is to be physically restored. God told me to keep praying for it. I keep praying and asking others to pray with me. “I’m weak physically…pray that I can get stronger.” I don’t even know how many times I’ve prayed and asked others to pray that same thing.

piano fallingAnd then it hit me. Like a piano falling from a tenth floor apartment building, when someone slipped and it went out the window. Okay, maybe not that hard. Yes, I can pray for my restoration. But what is God using me for NOW? What should I be getting out of the way to let him do?

I pause and reflect on this. A few weeks ago, I screenshot a note from a dear friend of mine: “Thanks lady for your constant encouragement, light shining, and energy! Trust me it’s happening even if you don’t necessarily feel it! 😊 You keep rocking you! 😊” I am an encourager. The dictionary defines encourage as “to inspire with courage, spirit, or confidence; to stimulate by assistance, approval, etc; to promote, advance, or foster.”  I think the person I relate to most in the Bible is Barnabas. His name means “son of encouragement” (Acts 4:36). Barnabas was an encourager for sure. Acts 11:23 records, “When Barnabas arrived [in Antioch] and saw what the grace of God had done, he was glad and encouraged them all to remain true to the Lord with all their hearts.” Verse 24 continues about Barnabas, “He was a good man, full of the Holy Spirit and faith, and a great number of people were brought to the Lord.” I read a devo this morning that talked about the adventure of faith in being a Christian. “The fuel to deep you going is your passion,” it read. “Passion is that unapologetic willingness and enthusiasm to do what God has called us to do.” Enthusiasm has several different definitions in the dictionary. “Lively interest” and “any various forms of extreme religious devotion, usually associated with intense enthusiasm and a break with orthodoxy,” are a few. I had never thought of enthusiasm as being religious. It does make sense, however, if you break it down and look at the Greek. En means “in,” and theos means “God.” So, if you are in God, you have enthusiasm.

encouragementI am enthusiastic about seeing brothers and sisters uplifted. I wast to be a good woman, full of the Holy Spirit and faith. Seeing people brought to the Lord, whether for the first time, or just a return after being encouraged…that’s an added bonus.

Be blessed, my friends!

Anna E. Meyer

What are you doing while waiting for God to answer your big prayers?

Source: Caine, Christine. Unshakeable. YouVersion Plan, Zondervan. Day 4.

2018 Focuses (Cuz Goals are Scary)

The new year came, then passed like any ordinary day. All this talk about planning what you’re going to do this year? No thanks. I’ll just take the year and be surprised at what comes my way. That’ll work, right? (Insert wince face here….)

A list of things to do in the year is intimidating. Most people’s lists consist of things like “get more organized” and “lose weight.” Ahh! Too big of things! (And then we get upset when the list isn’t completed by February!?)

On the 3rd, God told me the word “restoration” through a friend. “Healing and restoration are two different things. You’ve been healed, now you just need to wait for your restoration,” Lora told me.

“Hang it up on your bathroom mirror, and every morning, thank God for your restoration!” my friend Gary told me. I had been thanking God for years for my healing (not always consistently) before I was healed. But now, I just need to thank Him for my restoration.

And then, on the 5th, I read this blog by my friend Chelsea. In it, she talks about how she asked God what she should focus on in 2018. Ask God…I felt a nudge. I printed out the worksheet she had made to assist others in praying about 2018, and I sat down with my journal to hang out with Jesus. Here are the points He told me to focus on this year:

  • Patience/Waiting
  • Building myself up
  • Loving Lydia
  • Pray for others

Then, I went back to each point and asked God more about each.

  • Patience/Waiting. Doug and I are planning on adopting kid #2, but we can’t even take classes until next August or September. We made this decision last October. At first, I didn’t even realize we’d be able to take the classes at all, but it made me feel a whole lot better knowing when we’ll have time to do so. Second is waiting for my body’s restoration. I know it’ll come; I just have to wait for it. And in all this waiting, I can pray. For the things I’m waiting for, as well as things I don’t even know about yet. I asked God if either of those things would come to be this calendar year. He told me that I’ll just have to wait and see.
  • Building up my confidence, more specifically. Over this last year, I have been a mom, a wife, and a manager of my household. All these things are good, yes, but I’ve kind of buried the Anna. I’m still involved in Bible studies, mom’s groups, and the spouses of med students organization, but. But what about the things I love doing? Writing fiction? Actually developmental editing somebody else’s work, like I took classes last spring to do? Goodness, I don’t even play piano as much anymore. I thought giving lessons again this spring would be a thing, but it sure hasn’t yet! The thing is, I don’t have enough confidence doing these things. I like them, but sharing them? God told me to make time for these things and share them. I asked if I would publish one of my books this year or get paid to edit somebody’s work. He told me? Yep, you guessed it. I’ll just have to wait and see.

IMG_9706 B
Photo credit Stephanie Nicole Photography

  •  Loving Lydia. My current family. “Don’t get so caught up in preparing for kid #2 that you forget about kid #1,” God told me. Tonight, days after God told me all this, Doug told me to make sure I love Lydia more than the nannies that we pay to help with her do. When Lydia gets hurt? She doesn’t even come to me. It’s either her daddy or the nanny currently working. I can’t always have my work desk in the kitchen; I need another space. That way, when I’m in the kitchen (which is connected to the living room), I can BE PRESENT.
  • Pray for others. I have prayed for so many strangers out loud, even in the middle of a waiting room. I like praying out loud with family, friends, strangers, whoever I feel like I’m supposed to pray with at that moment. I pray in my head, too, because sometimes I don’t have confidence to pray for somebody. But thank you, Jesus, that I have come so far in that area! There are seven billion people in the world. Oh, that I could bless a few!

And so, along with the post-it note that will go on my mirror, I will keep a typed up list of these things, too. These are the things I shall focus on in 2018. What will you focus on?

Be blessed,

Anna E. Meyer

Weaknesses

Many of you know me in real life. I am very determined and usually have a good attitude. But, today I want to talk to you about weaknesses.

My physical weaknesses are obvious. I’m not physically strong, and I’ve tired out easily since the MS became a thing (especially because I always seem to push myself so stinkin’ hard).  I know that there are a lot of things that I can’t do, and I have mostly stopped trying to do them. I could make this a whole big long post about the many struggles I’ve had with this over the last decade, but I don’t want to. Just know that it was a process, and it certainly didn’t come about easily.

The internal weaknesses of every person are unseen and personal. It was a huge mental battle to overcome the fact that I couldn’t take care of Lydia by myself, but I’m finally okay with it. I love the nannies we have that come to help me at home when Doug is at work! I can’t pick Lydia up and move her, but I can entice her to come to this other corner of the room with me. I can’t keep up when she’s crawling away (foot drop), but I can grab her foot and drag her back toward me, which makes her laugh (she laughs when I’m trying to crawl after her, too). I can’t walk around with Lydia, but I can hold her and cuddle her when I’m seated just fine. I can’t manage taking Lydia places on my own, but God always sends somebody to help me. Besides, it’s way more fun for them to get to be my blessing. Another plus? I usually get a good chat out of it.

I manage my energy well. I no longer try to do the things I can’t, but instead be the best at things I can. I am thankful for my physical weaknesses, because they don’t allow me to be the perfectionist at everything I wish I could be. That, in all honesty, is not at all realistic. I’ve done the whole “trying to be perfect.” And it’s exhausting. When I think about how I can’t physically do something, I think about how trying to do it could hurt me more than help me. This is where I am at right now.

This last week, I was talking to God about my hopes for healing one day. His response? “Don’t focus on what I can do. Focus on what I am doing right now.” Since this revelation, my eyes have been opened to random conversations I’ve had with strangers here and there, and how much it has impacted. Maybe it has impacted them, but each time, God tells me, “See? I have a reason for everything. You were needed right here, right now.” Why do I have to go get infusions every month for my medicine? To have wonderful conversations with other patients and the nurses who work there. Why was it taking me so much time and energy at Walmart this week? So that the couple walking past me could help put my groceries into the trunk of my car. Why do I still have my blog, though it has fallen out of a routine and is random, most of the time? So that you, the person reading this post right now, might just be encouraged.

Anna