We were going through Mark 2:1-12 at a Bible study on Monday. Just in case that reference doesn’t make you think, “Oh yeah, I remember that story!” allow me to refresh your memory. So, Jesus is back in Capernaum and everyone hears about it. Of course, they’re all flocking to him because they want to see him perform miracles like some circus act. Anyway, these four dudes are carrying their buddy on a stretcher because he is paralyzed. But they can’t even get in the house because it is PACKED. So, they go up to the roof, vandalize the roof to make a hole so the stretcher would fit, and lower their buddy right in front of Jesus. Jesus, seeing that the men actually believe Jesus will heal the paralytic and didn’t just come for a show, sees their faith and first forgives the sins of the paralytic. Then he heals him.
When I read these miraculous healings, I am awed by Jesus Christ’s power. And then I am filled with jealousy. There are SO many healings in the Bible. In fact, miraculous healings still happen today. So why am I not healed? I’m a storyteller and a rational thinker, but mostly a storyteller. I love a good story. Anna in the Bible lived with her husband for seven years and then was a widow until she was 84, when she got to see baby Jesus at the temple. So, it would be pretty cool if I was healed of MS after 7 years, right? So why wasn’t I? I prayed for it to happen, but I’ve had it for almost 10.
I realize now that there are more, better, and God-glorifying stories as I have MS. Being healed is a one-time deal. But overcoming struggles is a repeated process (day by day, hour by hour, etc). Did I just want to be part of a miraculous circus act? No. Even though that would be cool. I mean, I am a side character in this epic story called life (God is the main character, of course). I can glorify God through having MS, through my relationships, through my marriage (in 45 days), and through everything in my life in general. Yes, I am jealous of people in the gospels and even those I hear about now who have been miraculously healed. But, I don’t want to be a character in a one story, but many! I know that God would be able to use me whichever way he wants, but here looks like a pretty great place to be at the moment.
There’s another thing that we can never forget—God is the best storyteller in the history of the universe. I can’t be telling him what he should or shouldn’t do—I’m in the story. Only the author, who is outside of it, can write it. (So we should all stop trying.)
The Writer and Thinker of This Post,