How Not to Date According to Twilight

My roommates and I take turns picking out movies when we decide to watch a roomie movie.  Last time it was LB’s turn, I told her to pick one she hadn’t seen (between the four of us, there are a lot of movies at this place!).  So, of course, I had to pick one I hadn’t seen because LB told me to.  So, I picked one we had that I hadn’t seen (I’m a movie buff, I guess you could day, ‘cuz I watch a lot of different stuff just to watch them.): Twilight.  I didn’t read the books or see any of the movies.  I had been surrounded by readers/fans when the movies first came out and stuff, and frankly, I didn’t get it.  But I figured I might as well give it a chance.  Give it a chance, I tried.  Consequently, I laughed through a lot of it because of its ridiculousness.  Thus, the list was born.

How Not to Date According to Twilight:

1. Never date a vampire.

2. If he sparkles, run.

3. If he says he watches you sleep, it’s time to get a restraining order.

4. If he’s always ice cold, he’ll never warm your heart.

5. If he’s faster than the speed of light, he’ll never be able to run with you.

6. If he thinks your blood smells better than other blood, make him bleed.

7. If he is able to stop a speeding car with his hand and doesn’t have an “S” on his chest, he’s a freak.  Or a vampire.  Refer to tip #1.

 

Keepin’ it Real,

Anna

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