I had my wisdom teeth out on Friday. “Be a bum,” they told me, and at first, I was. Then, I kinda got bored with the whole “bum” thing. I wanted to DO something. I wanted to be productive. So, I started packing. On Sunday, I came back to school. Mom drove me here and helped me bring my stuff up to my room because I wasn’t allowed to lift anything over 10 lbs or blood clots could come out and I could get dry socket. Only 10 pounds? That’s crazy! “Don’t push it,” my mother warned me, and in all reality, that is the hardest thing I’ve ever faced. It’s not just this weekend that I’ve been told that, either. Having multiple sclerosis, “pushing it” means wearing myself out way too much for the day, causing my walking to become…not good. “Pushing it” has meant bringing myself to a point of exhaustion physically (most often), emotionally, and mentally. This dang disease kind of accelerates the others, as in, when I reach exhaustion in one of these areas, the rest are soon to follow. But, honestly? In the past, I have plowed right through anyway. By testing my limits, I learn them. I need to try things and experience them for myself before I can decide anything about them. But this month, testing the limits brings the threat of dry sockets and more hassle than I need right now. I don’t know how to not push it. I’ve been through ONE day. ONE. And getting back in a routine makes me want to, well, you know (push it).
Now is the point where I would add scripture to support or not support the subject of this post. However, I can’t think of any. BUT, because I’ve been worrying about this whole thing, I DID look up Matthew 6:25-34 last night before I turned in. My favorite verses out of that passage are 33 and 34:
33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
Also good for the occasion is 1 Peter 5:7: “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” Why do I worry I’ll push myself too hard? Because I don’t need to. I had a nice long talk with the Lord this morning, and I was assured that he’d help me out. And seriously, I have been more aware today of pushing myself than in the past. Before I lift something, I think about if it’s gonna be heavier than something I can’t tell on my own. After band today, I worried that I played with a force that would match that ten pounds during the three pages of double forte. However, I’m not gonna worry about it. Know why? Because I’ve cast my anxiety on Him.
I don’t know how much better I’ll be at not pushing myself once I don’t have to worry about the whole mouth thing, but I do believe I’m taking a step in the right direction. Baby steps. That’s what counts.
Almost everyone at least knows someone that’s had their wisdom teeth out. Getting them out this close to school wasn’t supposed to happen (see my previous post), but it did. I keep looking for the silver lining here. The thing I’ve been doing most though, is pray. (Seriously, what else do you do when preoccupied with holding ice to your face?) This post really isn’t what I had wanted to write, but I still wanted to write something. Do you know any verses that talk about what I did in my first paragraph?
“Smiling” with a still-swollen face, Anna ((o_o))