Have you ever not seen God’s face, even when you’re searching for it? I feel like I’m blind to him and all his works and goodness. I went to a Cru conference this weekend—God is ALWAYS experienced like crazy there! But I didn’t experience him much at all. A realization, maybe, but not of Him, just me. I know the Lord; I haven’t stopped diving into his Word every morning to learn more about him! What is it with this funk?
I’m scared. That’s it! I’m freaking about the future when it’s not even here yet. Not only the test I’m taking in the morning or my lesson in the afternoon, two things in which everything I can do to prepare has been going terribly wrong. I’m freaked about after school, because I don’t know what I’ll do. Goodness, I’m freaked about the rest of school, because it involves so much work that I’m not prepared for! And ever
ything just keeps piling up and going wrong. This morning, I read Mark 4:35-41. I feel like I’ve been going through the motions, because how else can I try to get closer to my Lord? “Jesus!” I finally cry. “The waves are crashing over the edges of this boat I’m in! Don’t you care if I drown?” I can almost feel Jesus getting up and rebuking everything that’s going wrong, “Quiet! Be still!” I take a deep breath. I forget he can do that, sometimes. Next he turns to me. “Why are you so afraid? Where is your faith?” Hiding, it has been; I feel like I’ve been wrestling with it and trying to justify both sides (the world is so convincing)! But I’m not scared anymore. “Who is this? Even the wind and the waves obey him!” Yes, the wind and the waves, the stress and the strain, everything that goes wrong, and everything that goes right—he’s got it ALL under control. I don’t have to worry anymore—I’ve got God on my side! And I get to run to him like a child running to her father. I get to lift my arms for him to pick me up and hold me even though I’m 5’6”. “Peace be with you,” he tells me. Because he loves me.
Anna 🙂
Anna E. Meyer 
Awesome post! Your line, “the world is so convincing” is so true. There are daily snares for all of us to fall into and it’s the devil’s sly tricks of getting deep into our conscience and telling us, “it’s ok, it won’t hurt, everyone is doing it.” It’s in those moments, we always need to turn to God, when we’re tempted, when we begin to feel ourselves fall away; it’s as simple as opening the Word up daily, just as you said, for wisdom, for strength, for a discipline to overcome everything and anything the devil tries to throw at us. Luckily, we have His Almighty shield to protect us, and most importantly, we’re safe in His arms for our futures because from conception, He has outlined each and every one of our lives, including our careers, not to worry or question why or what path to travel down, but to put all of our trust in Him, that He will provide, that He will open doors. It’s just a simple leap of Faith, do we walk through or not?! Great post and excited to hear more! 🙂
Sometimes I forget aspects of God, but he never forgets anything about us! Thanks for the comment!
Anna
This is so true, I love it. I been feeling the exact same way but like you said..he is in CONTROL of everything. Awesome Post : ).
Ah, yes, I was still in that funk when I began writing. I think that’s why I write sometimes, and YOU lovely readers of my blog get to share in what he’s teaching me! Thanks for the comment! =)
Anna
Hi Anna….I’m glad that my post “Creation Calls Out, There is a God!’ was a blessing to you. When God “hides” Himself from us, i.e., when we can’t perceive Him no matter how hard we try, although it feels scary, it is a time to rejoice because He is essentially saying that we are mature enough to handle this level of faith training in Him; He never does this to babes in Christ. Even though we may not know it at the time we encounter His “hiddenness”, He knows that we have in us what it takes to navigate through such times because He has already put it on the inside of us. Once we get past the stage of “freaking out” (smile), we discover He is and was right there all along and we regain our peace. Hey, the good thing is that when we encounter His “hiddenness” the next time, we are all the wiser in knowing how to deal with it……..peace and blessings!……..Kim
Thanks, Kim! As always, your comment is appreciated and encouraging! We may be wiser in knowing how to deal with His “hiddenness,” but it doesn’t mean it’ll necessarily be any easier in dealing. Blessings back!
Anna