So tonight, during my date night with Jesus, I went back and skimmed through my journal and tried to accumulate all that I’ve learned this summer into smaller forms. I took notes, but this pretty much just led to more conversation. So God’s like, “Hey, Anna, remember all that I’ve taught you this summer? All I’ve shown you? I would think you would have stopped worrying about this-and-that so much. But I’m still here, for when you’re ready to talk about it again.” Looking back in my journal I see how God has answered prayers and how he’s showed me the same things, in different forms, just to get his point across. Just to make sure I’m gonna see this neon sign he’s put in front of my face. ‘Cuz I don’t, always. I see themes: he has taught me about relationships. He has recalled me to what has affected me in the past, some of why I act the way I do, and he has brought my attention to what I am doing NOW. Conflict? I usually avoid it. But that’s not healthy for a relationship of any kind. So I’ve been working a lot on that. And also, being a girl, I handed God over the word “boyfriend,” letting him take care of who and when. I don’t need to worry about that or be distracted from my relationship with the Lord! And our relationship has grown, as well. “Jesus, I love that I have this relationship with you, and that you love it, too! I keep finding out and learning more about you, AND I keep finding things brought to my attention that I need to surrender to you” (7-13). So, I’ve given him the reigns of all my relationships. And I keep giving them back, ‘cuz I keep taking them on accident. I don’t need anything else in the way of my relationship with Christ, the most important relationship EVER!
And I think that the other major theme is somewhat obvious. Control. Ugh, I hate it. But I have recognized it as an iceberg that manifests itself however it wants to. I just still really hate it. But, I’ve been releasing that one, as well—S-L-O-W-L-Y. That one is a little bit easier to snatch up the reigns, and I have to be aware and keep giving them back, many times throughout the day. “I WILL surrender, dang it” (6-22)! Many times. I don’t always catch it, either. Which isn’t good. But I have officially trusted God with everything—MS, being the biggie there; the FUTURE (which is hard for me, but I’m learning), and…I think that encompasses all of it, really. The future is one that covers a lot of territory, unfortunately. But God, I TRUST YOU. (He’s reading this, too.)
Oh, and this is a subcategory, but I was really excited when I read this in my journal, ‘cuz it, like, helped my feel better about the future thing. “I feel like I’m being called to be involved in the life of a struggling family, a struggling man or woman. To listen, to have a relationship with” (6-13)! And guess what? God suggested to me, like, a week or two ago, that I could reach out to the parents of kids that I do music therapy with! I have no idea what that will look like, but I was super excited when that thought entered my head. ‘Cuz how awesome would that be!?
This last week, God has laid prayer on my heart. And article I read said that prayer always preceded dramatic events, such as a revival. So, I’ve been praying a lot over this last week, typically in list form in my journal. One of my prayers is, indeed, for a revival. That would be SWEEEEEET! How awesome would it be if a city like Milwaukee, the most segregated city in the US, was suddenly one that REFLECTED CHRIST AND HIS LOVE!? How awesome would it be if there was a revival at Augie, and all of the students were no longer “lukewarm Christians” if they were even that much, but ON FIRE FOR CHRIST!? How awesome would it be if a stranger could walk through Cottonwood and think, “Wow, CHRIST IS PROMINENT in this place!?” I ask that you all join me, as well. And, if you have another place on your heart, let me know, and I’ll join you in praying for it!
God has changed me this summer, and I’m not even all the way done with it yet! All I know is that I am SO EXCITED for Christ, and I want to praise him and glorify him with my very being! All I want to do is to live for HIM!!!!!
SMILING so hard my cheeks are starting to hurt (in a good way), Anna =)^2